I HATE

it when you make a bowl of crispy frosted flakes and pour your nice cold milk over it and you're just about to take a bite. And then.
The phone rings.

The dilemma - Ignore the phone and miss the call or answer the phone and know that you will have to eat soggy cereal.

Oh, the decisions...

Liberal

I'm way too liberal to live in the south.

Generally my friends and I avoid politics and religion unless we know specifically that someone is at least similar in view to us.
Most of the time we just don't talk about it.

I, however, had the brilliant idea to join the bible study book club. They were reading The 5 Love Languages, which I wanted to study more and I really, really loved.
We're done with that one now, and it's really a barely religious book so religion was almost never a topic that even came up.

The book we're reading now is Twelve Extraordinary Women. We've only covered chp 1, which is on Eve.
I find it hard to read a whole chapter on Eve, creation and how women should be submissive. I read it as fiction and not fact, because honestly, I believe in evolution though I think God set *whatever* in motion.
It was clear as we discussed the book that I was the only one reading it and not taking it literally.
I mean, the bible isn't all literal!!! I've even had a priest tell me that much of the Bible, especially the Old Testament, is a parable. (think Jonah and the whale...)

Ok, I digress. I don't know that much about the Bible. I'm actually not a terribly religious person.
Yes, I go to church (most of the time...) and I believe in God, and I think I am a moral person, a good person and even a spiritual person, but not really *religious* per say.

But I had to bite my tongue when they were literally making fun of people who support stem cell research and believe in evolution. They didn't know it, because I didn't say, but that's ME!

I don't have a problem with the way they believe, but I don't think I can go through another meeting like that.
How to back out gracefully, with no hurt feelings, is the issue I guess...

Mama do it!

That's a fun little phrase the d has been hooked on lately. I'd rather he didn't know it though.
When D is around, he should get to do it! Now, when d says "Mama do it!" it's the perfect excuse to get out of helping.

I started and finished our taxes today. Damn government has been holding on to a decent sum of our money this year, using it as an interest free loan. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have it back, but I'd rather have kept it in the first place.
Time to change D's witholdings methinks.

d is sleeping like crap again, and it's affecting me more than ever. Probably because I'm hugely pg and that makes me tired.

D found out that the next 3 months are going to be very busy for him at work. Lots of overtime and lots of travel time.

To Winnipeg.

There's a good chance that he'll be gone on d's 2nd bday, but we don't have the specifics yet so I'm not freaking. d is too little to know it's his bday anyway, & cake will dull the pain.
I'm more worried about him possibly being in Canada when I go into labor. There's really not a lot I can do about all this, so there's not a lot of sense in worrying about it. I think for now I'll stay in denial land. It's much nicer here than reality.

D & I are wondering if there's a nice way to tell his parents that a visit would really be better after O makes his arrival. I'm huge and just plain exhausted. d is being, well, 2. D is hardly ever home and maybe it's selfish, but when he is, I don't want d and I to have to share him.
They're planning on coming when I'm 36 weeks. While that's still 4 weeks away, if how I feel today (at 32 weeks) is any indication, it's not going to be a good time.
*EDIT*

The Nursery

It's pretty much finished, I just have to get an O to replace the D on the wall and we're all set. :)

OOOOO baby!!

Less than 60 days till the little guy's arrival. That's less than 9 weeks.
I'm getting so excited!!

Let's see, what else is new?

Hmmmm, not much.

We finished the nursery this weekend, bought a new carseat for O baby too. I went to a theatre and watched a movie for the first time in a long time. It's the 3rd movie I've seen in the theatre since d was born. We used to go pretty much every weekend, bc. (before child)
The seats weren't as comfortable as I remember.

_________________

The weather is beautiful this week! It was over 60 degrees today. Spring is coming!!

_________________
Primetime is on in the background as I type this and they are doing a special on people who marry their brother/sister.

I usually try to be open minded, but I'm gonna go ahead and say "EW" on this one.

penguin?

How sad is this?

d has been walking around the house imitating, I thought, a penguin.
So I say "Are you a penguin?" as he waddles by.
He says, wait for it.....



















"I MAMA!"














D still hasn't recovered from laughing.

politics

I absolutely HATE getting political emails from people who don't agree with me.
I don't send out political emails to people unless I know they are on the same page as me. I HATE getting crap from my MIL.
She obviously has no idea that I'm not exactly a Bush fan, nor would I consider myself a Republican. She, ok, the family, might disown me if they knew I was pro-choice.

This is why I don't talk about politics with family or friends. It gets messy.

sick

Dane slept eleven hours straight last night. I was in Heaven. He's never EVER done that before.
Well, he woke up with a fever, and is now sleeping again, so now I know why. Darn it. But at least we all got a good night's sleep...

valentine's day video

pics that amuse me

Run, Penny, Run!

cheese!

stuff

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. My 10th one with D. I'm finding it hard to really care all that much this year.
It's just never been my favorite I guess, probably because I've always had high romantic expectations - and they've pretty much been dashed.
Not this year. I'm not really even expecting D to remember it.
I didn't get him much either. I helped d make him a cute card, I bought him a card and a soduko book, and I'm planning to get his name engraved on his rugby plaque that he's had for almost a year now. heh - better late than never...
__________

It was 65 degrees here yesterday!! It was wonderful to let d go outside to play. We played on the swing, the slide and drew with sidewalk chalk. We played basketball and ran around with Penny. I can't remember the last time we played outside. It's pouring rain today so I'm glad we took advantage of it.
___________

I picked up my Girl Scout cookies yesterday. Yum! We got 4 boxes, and one is already gone. I swear those boxes were bigger when I was selling them as a GS. I know they were cheaper, but it's for a good cause so I don't really care.
___________

I really love the name we picked for the baby, but I still find myself checking out other names. Sometimes I think the tech was wrong and it's really a girl. I have no basis for that thought other than I didn't get a good look at the "money shot."
Oh, and d will say "LILA" if we ask him the baby's name sometimes. Of course other times he just says "baby" or even "OWEN! "
I'm still 98% sure that the tech was right (she seemed sure!) but there is that little niggling thought...
Time will tell I suppose.
___________

D met his deadline so no more overtime for now. He should be home more this week, which is good, because I feel like I haven't seem him at all since the Superbowl.
___________

I'm in a crabby phase of pregnancy right now. (for the last 8 months or so...)
There are just certain people I have no patience for at the moment. I won't name them all, but some are relatives and some are just people I know IRL, and of course there are always people online that annoy me. That's nothing new though.
The big thing that is annoying me right now is a certain person who calls me everyday and complains about everything under the sun. I mean, be positive for once! At least people can choose to read my bitchy blog, but on the phone I feel trapped.
___________

I want to re-do our bedroom. D thinks ALL red (a dark red) would be too much so we are thinking maybe red and tannish or something. But we also need new furniture, bed stuff and maybe a rug.
So I'm not sure if we will do it this year or wait till next year. I might prefer to have a privacy fence before the bedroom gets done. I can't stand all the construction going on back there and with spring coming the fence is getting more important.
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d has been having night terrors every night and it's causing him to sleep poorly. He gets up really early too, which bites, but I guess it's still an improvement. I don't know what the deal with night terrors is.
My mom acts like there must be something traumatizing him for him to be having them. Really, I think it's just the age.
He wakes up yelling NO NO NO or yesterday it was BALL! Dunno what that's about, but I think it's probably normal.
____________

Alright, that's enough. I've poured enough boring into the internet today.

stitches

D just called and he hurt himself while playing today. He'll need stitches when he gets home.
*sigh*

It's not major, and certainly not the first time rugby has caused him to need stitches, but it's still annoying. Now he'll need to be babied about it all week and it will miraculously get better next Friday night, just in time for the next game.

I worry that one of these times he's going to call with a broken leg or something. (it's happened to several guys he's played with over the last 6 years. One even had his entire cheekbone crushed. ouch)

random

I invited a couple of moms and kids over spur of the moment today. I am bored and D's gone for rugby (what else?!) so I thought, why not?
It was fun.
d is sleeping now. He totally crashed after they left. You've gotta love that.

Mostly I was impressed that I could clean up the house to very presentable shape in about 30 minutes. Not too shabby.
__________

Valentine's Day is coming up. I'm being mean and not reminding D of it this year.
I wonder if he'll forget.
___________

Push presents.
Have you heard of them? I hadn't till close to the end of my pgncy with d, and I didn't get one from D. No big surprise there, even though I got him a small gift.
I think it's kind of a weird thing, but I'm all for D giving me presents.
I told him I expect one this time, so we'll see what happens.
______________

I ate one too many lemon bars and then O baby decided to flip from transverse to up and down. (like my medical terms?)
Ugh. Now it feels like I ate 5 too many.
______________

I'm 30 weeks today. Holy Shit.

woo!!

d slept in his own bed, without waking at ALL, from 8pm - 6:30 am!!

That is what I call awesome!! (and it only took 1 year, 10 months, 3 weeks and 5 days!)

missing out?

I just can't help but feel like D is missing out. He's so caught up in work, rugby and other responsibilities that he's not home very much.

Understandably, he has to work. I mean we've got to eat and have a roof over our heads. His job is not the problem.

It's mostly rugby. I hate to say that because I know how much he loves it. He really, really loves it. Really.
It's become so time consuming though. He's a great player and always starts. He almost never misses practice, which is 1-2 times a week, or a game - 1x a week. Games take up almost a whole Saturday, more if tehy are out of town, which half of them are.
He's also the Treasurer/Secretary now and that means meetings. On Sunday. It also means more work in general as he has to keep up with who has paid their dues, money that the club owes to others and their budget in general. He is one of 2 selectors, which means that he gets to decide (with the coach) who plays each game.
He also volunteers to run their season opening blood drive. (which is only 2x a year)

All in all, he's a great guy for the team. He's dependable, hard working, dedicated and a talented player. I can see why he is so "in demand".

There's only one problem with that and it's us. We are his family and we're getting the shaft. I'm an adult. I can handle it. I don't like it, but I can bitch and complain until he spends 5 minutes with me to appease me.
d just gets screwed. Don't get me wrong. D is a good father. He loves d and he'd do anything for us. (except maybe give up rugby)
He's just not here that much and it sucks. Pretty soon O baby will be here too and then it's going to just be twice as annoying.
I feel like his priorities are:

1. work
2. rugby
3. d
4. me

Is it too much to ask to want to be first? He swears we are first, but actions speak louder and all that crap...

Worst, I don't really know what to do about it. I cannot demand he quit rugby because, as previously mentioned, he loves it. It's his outlet and I think everyone deserves one. I don't really want him to quit, I just don't want it to be so time consuming.

I can't make him see what he's missing - though I've tried. Do I just sit back and steam, knowing that when the kids are grown he's going to wonder where the time has gone and regret it? Knowing that one day we'll look at each other and the years of hurt, resentment and anger will have erased the feelings we used to have? That's not what I want for my kids, my marriage or my life.

I just don't know how to fix it.

Give me a break

As I mentioned, since Friday night D has been in charge of getting up with d at night. For some reason, he sleeps a LOT better this way.
Anyway, 2 of those nights, d didn't wake up at all, and the other 2 nights, only once. SO - he, D, hasn't had it too bad.

Last night he tells me I have to drag my 7 1/2 months pregnant butt out of bed at 2am because he "needs a break" and "he's tired."

You've got to be kidding me.

I am so pissed.
I did get up.
d didn't sleep well and was up FOR GOOD at 4:45 am. Grrr.

I have been the sole nighttime provider for the last 22 months. ME. Alone. With. No. Help.

He does it for 4 nights and all of a sudden he "needs a break."
I wanted to break his selfish neck.

Yes, he works outside the home. Yes, he's working overtime this week and last week. Yes, I KNOW how tough it is to get up at night.
But he still finds time to play rugby. And football. He's not too tired for that.
On top of all that, I'm pregnant! I don't ask for special treatment, nor do I receive any.

I am big and fat and pregnant. It is damn near impossible to turn over in bed without pain shooting down my back. It is a long process to actually drag myself out of bed and then back in bed, and then back out again.

I'm not sleeping well in spite of d making progress, because unfortunately I've reached the 3rd trimester training camp of Preparation for Sleep Deprivation.

But I digress. I think I'll take a break from making dinner tonight, or perhaps doing his laundry. After all, I've been doing it for more than 4 days.

sleep, sleep, sleep

I hate to even write this, at the risk of jinxing myself, but d is improving.

We've had scads of problems with his sleeping since he was born. He'll be 2 in March and I'd started to think that he would never sleep well.

The last 3 nights have gone pretty well. D is finally able to put him to bed, without me. He's also been getting up with him in the night, without a screaming fit ensuing.
The best part? d has slept in his OWN BED till after 5am for the last 3 nights!
Of course, he then gets up and that's the butt crack of dawn, but I'll take it. I'm grateful for it! I'm tired, but damn - that is improvement.

I guess by most standards of 2 year old sleep this is not a huge accomplishment - in fact I hear people complain all the time that their kids won't sleep past 7am. (ha!)
But for us, this is awesome. Thank you sleep gods. Thank you.

meetup vent

There is a mom in my meetup group who I cannot stand. She is so damn annoying.
I usually vent on that board, but obviously I can't about this since she'd read it. lol
I guess not being able to stand one (or maybe 3) out of 60 moms isn't so bad.

I wish it was like Survivor and we could vote her out. he he.

It snowed!!

backyard
What is this stuff?

It snowed!! Not much but it's probably all we're going to see this year. :)

It's really slushy and wet and already melting, so no snow men for us.