boring...

d is sleeping. D is gone to his rugby game, which doesn't actually start for another hour. I'm bored.

Just sitting here at the computer, contracting with no regularity or increasing intensity, wishing O baby would stop poking me in the cervix.

I've got some random thoughts, with no way to string them together, so here's a list.

1. It's too hot to wear pants. I don't want to wear a skirt to a rugby game. I have one pair of Capri pants, but they are yoga-like pants. (I've never done yoga in my life...) Acceptable to wear in public? I don't know but if anyone says anything I'll just sit on them. That'll shut 'em up.
2. I started taking EPO yesterday. Maybe it will get this baby out sooner. I'm suddenly feeling very "done."
3. What is UP with D thinking that being pregnant should not inhibit sex drive? I can't say any more without saying too much, but I really want to punch him sometimes.
4. I hate doing dishes. I can't get close enough to the sink anymore.
5. My mom asked me to "keep the baby in" till after Easter. Sure, no problem. I'll just cross my legs.
6. I think she was only partly kidding.
7. Do they let you have wine in the hospital? Oh wait, that breastfeeding thing would get in the way of that. I've been craving wine since I found out I was pg. I want some, dammit!! It's cruel that at the time in your life you could most benefit from being drunk for awhile you aren't allowed to. Just think - Nurse "do you need an epidural?" Me "nah, just pass the bottle."
8. My brother didn't even call d on his birthday. No email, no card, no mention of it at all. Yet, his graduation was yesterday and I still sent him $50. He's 20, so while he's still young, he's old enough. I was married at 20. My parents still pay his cell phone bill. What's up with that?
9. D has to go into work tomorrow. Suck.
10. What's up with cats in the spring? Ours stops bathing and just lets his hair mat up and fall out. He rolls in the dirt and then wants to jump in my lap. I wonder if you can shave a cat without losing your eyeballs to some pissed off claws.
11. I'm ending at 11 just so no one will think I'm anal and have to end at 10. ;)

Guess who got d dressed today?

I laughed so hard I cried. And then I took pictures.
d thought the whole thing was amusing, even though he didn't know what was going on. D thinks the "outfit" matches just fine and wants some outside opinions. So what do you think?

All is right with the world

d is beyond the moon ecstatic that D is home. I guess I didn't realize how much he missed him.
He was so happy last night and played and cuddled and you could just SEE the joy on his face. He went to bed SO easily for D. He slept well and woke up happy.
It makes my heart melt to see them together, so happy. It makes me ticked off that he wouldn't sleep well for me. lol
I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing a lot of "Daddy do it!" around here for the next few days, and that's just fine with me.





_______________

On another topic, I had about 10 contractions last night in the space of an hour. Real ones. Painful ones! (ok - not that painful, but still enough to say ouch...)
But, alas, after taking a hot shower and going to bed they stopped. I had lots of contractions spaced out during the day as well.

I wonder how long this will go on.
Am I destined to bouts of contractions every day for weeks? Or will my body kick it in gear and shoot this baby out early?

Only time will tell I guess.

Today's the day!

D comes home today.

I cannot tell you how very, very happy that makes me. The last 10 days have been an eternity!

I feel like doing a little happy dance. :)

And so it begins...

2 cm dilated. Very soft.

According to the Dr. "a good place to be."

Wanna place bets on O's arrival?

(for the record, I was 3 cm dilated for about a week before I had d. The week before I was only a fingertip.)

follow up

This was going to just be a comment, but it got way too long so here it is.

He's already annoyed me once again this morning, so I might as well tell you. It's really not that big of a deal, but right now everything is a big deal. I called him about 9:30pm because I hadn't heard from him. It was 7:30 there and I was ready to go to bed here. He was still at work, and acted all annoyed that I called him. I realize he's working overtime, 12 hour days and all that. HOWEVER - I'M working 24 hour days, and that is no exaggeration with d's current sleeping (or lack thereof) patterns. Anyone interested in starting the day at 2:30 am? No?


Anyway, it peeved me that he couldn't find 5 minutes to call me ALL day when I really needed to hear an adult voice.
So that was it, UNTIL this morning.

I should preface the rest of this by saying that we had a really, really, really, bad night, that ended with me crying harder than d and finally giving him Motrin so that he would finally. go. to. sleep. (For the love of God - please go to sleep!) He's been starting every day this week no later than 4am, and I'm losing my freaking mind.

Last night, I lost my cool, got way too angry and felt like having a nervous breakdown. I'm sure my bp shot Waaaaay up as evidenced by my pounding headache. Anyway, I'm not proud - but there it is.

So anyway, this morning I learn that D could actually come home a little earlier. (12 hours!) BUT he doesn't want to deal with "the hassle" of changing his flight and taking the red eye.
Can he not hear the desperation in my voice?
Did he not understand the story I'd just relayed?

Short of going into labor, I don't think I can get him to come home earlier. I know it's only 12 hours, but when you're drowning, 12 hours is a long time.

2600 miles

I didn't think it was possible for D to annoy me from 2600 miles away.

I was wrong.

It's Monday

I'm having a hard time remembering what day of the week it is. I think it's because my days are dictated by D's days and when he's at work I know it's a weekday, and when he's home I know it's a weekend.
I technically didn't have a weekend this week. When D's gone my days all run together. They are all one long working day.

The visit with the inlaws went pretty well. They didn't get here till about 4:30, and they brought dinner, which was nice. They left by 7, so it was a nice short visit.
d was a teeny bit freaked at first, but warmed up to FIL and BIL pretty quickly. He warmed up to MIL a little slower, but still better than in visits past.
BIL played with him on the trampoline, just like D does, and I know it made d miss his daddy a lot. He kept pointing at BIL (they are twins...) and saying "Daddy work?"
It made me sad, but I'm glad he had BIL to play with for a few hours. I think he may have even called him daddy a few times, but he thinks that every man's name is Daddy and every woman's name is Mama, unless I tell him differently. Once I told him BIL's name, he called him that instead.

MIL refrained from asking me how much weight I'd gained, which was a welcome surprise. Good thing I didn't put any money on it.
*EDIT* But, I digress.

No reason to get worked up. I just have to figure out a way to make this happen the way I want. In case you were wondering, yes - it IS all about me.

update

There's really nothing to update. I had one more "real"contraction, that's it. Lots of braxton hicks, just like always.
I'm 36 weeks. Officially 9 months pregnant.

My inlaws are coming tomorrow. D was kind enough to convince them to make it a very short trip, so we'll see them for dinner. Maybe a couple of hours, that's it. I still have to clean the house though. Bummer.
It might be a nice distraction. *EDIT*

Wanna see some pics?

For the record, I pretty much never wear skirts. However, spring is here and it's 85 degrees.

I might as well be in hell it's so damn hot.

I have no maternity shorts and no desire to buy any at this point. Jeans were simply out of the question, so a skirt it is.

What's going on down there?

I had some real contractions this morning. In the span of 20 minutes or so, I had 4. I was starting to get a little freaked out, but changing position stopped them.
I'm sure that it's just my body gearing up for the big day, but I'm 36 weeks tomorrow and I think O needs at least 1 more week to really be done. Plus, with D gone, it's not exactly the best time!
I have an appointment next Wednesday, so we'll see if these contractions are doing anything, or if they're just for fun.
I'm not holding my breath, I wouldn't be too surprised to go overdue again like I did with d. Of course, I'd be more than happy to go a little early too. Bye bye ECP!

er, um, eh...

How do you clear the brain fog of pregnancy and motherhood?
Seriously. I feel like an idiot.

heh.

Want to hear something rather amusing?

I went into the kitchen to start dinner and noticed that the stove clock wasn't working. I fiddled with the oven and it wouldn't come on. Neither would the burners. I thought - there is NO WAY the dryer AND the stove/oven are breaking on the same day! I figured I should go check the breaker box, even though the dryer and stove are no where near each other.
Sure enough, only two breakers were flipped to off, and guess which ones they were?
That's right. Dryer and Stove.

I didn't think to check the breaker this morning because the washer - which is right next the dryer- was working just fine, as were all the lights, etc. I stupidly assumed that meant it wouldn't be the breaker.

If you're wondering how those two random ones got turned off - I have a theory. It involves a 36 inch tall bandit who has a penchant for buttons.

The WORST part is that in attempting to fix the dryer I used pliers on the part I assumed was broken. D told me what to do over the phone and I actually did break it. It will work, but I have to use pliers to turn it on.
Luckily our dryer was kinda crappy anyway, so we'll probably be getting a new one soon, but at least I can use it in the meantime.

By the way - did I mention how stupid I feel?

crap

D had to be at the airport at 8:45 this morning. He left for work about 7:30 and at 8:30 the dryer broke.
I tried to fix it with pliers as per D's instructions and proceeded to break it more.
Crap.

How am I going to live without a dryer? I do have a clothesline...

D will be home in 10 days and *maybe* he could fix it. Or I could go hunt down a new dryer and have someone install it. Not cheap, but maybe necessary.

I certainly hope this is the only thing that goes wrong while he's gone. **Knock Wood!**

stupid blogging vent

Does anyone else hate the word verification? No matter how many times I double check it before posting a comment, it always makes me do it again. Then, if I don't get it right the 2nd time, it just turns into a little box with a red x. Which means I have to leave the page and come back later.
Arrgh. SO frustrating!

That is all.

35 weeks 1 day

Forgive the bedspread I'm wearing. It's all that fits...

Talk about growth...

As of today, my uterus is 1000 times it's normal size. Woah.

Happy Birthday d!

Birth Day!

1st Birthday!

Today!

d,
I can't believe it's been 2 years since you were born. The changes have come so fast, that at times I can't imagine how I will keep up.
I turned around and my newborn baby boy is a bouncing, talking, demanding, loving 2 year old!
You say things everyday that amuse me and you make me laugh like no one else can. You're so smart, so bright, and so wonderful.
I adore how loving you are, asking to "hold you!" several times a day. You give your hugs and kisses freely, and yet you're fiercely independant. "I DO IT!" is a common refrain around here.
You love to count and are always pointing out letters. Daddy is your best friend.
You are so excited to become a big brother, and you keep asking about our "new baby."
I remember those first days and I cherish them. I want to remember how you are at every moment, and I know my memory will eventually fail to recall each little sweet thing you said or funny thing you did.
The past 2 years have changed my life in ways I could not imagine before having you.
The ways you've brought love into my life are uncountable. We love you.
Happy Birthday.

I hate thinking up titles for these things.

I have a terrible cough, with no idea where it came from. Allergies? A cold? I don't know, but it's annoying. I feel like I'm going to cough O right out.

Speaking of O, D & I are changing our minds on his mn. It was supposed to be Pierce, but I'm not loving it and D thinks it sounds too preppy, or British.
So, now we're thinking about Zachary. I think it sounds nice, and D thinks OZ would be awesome initials/possibly nickname. We'll have to see about that though.

D annoyed me last night. Admittedly, not hard to do at this point, but he seems to be getting even better at it. He now has rugby practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays instead of just on Wednesdays, so that's 2 nights a week, plus Saturdays he's gone for several hours. Before kids, no problem. Now, big problem.
Like, last night, he came home at 5, scarfed down dinner with his only comment being that the noodles looked weird. (he was about to be wearing them...)
He has to leave at 5:40 to get to practice by 6. So, that's a very short amount of time for d to see him in a whole day.
D says bye. d cries. I feel bad.

d asks for DADDY the rest of the night, I feel bad for him and pissed at D every time.

D doesn't feel bad at all. It doesn't seem to phase him. What is wrong with him?

We agreed to 2 days a week for both of us to do extracurricular stuff, but his has suddenly gone up to 3, and mine's usually one or sometimes none.
I can't even bring it up without him getting defensive. Can you tell we've had this fight many times before?

In a few days, D is leaving for 10 days. This sounds like torture for me. No breaks, a visit from his parents and d missing his daddy. I can't imagine him being gone that long! I know I'll be fine, but it's d I worry about. He doesn't understand time really. 10 days might as well be eternity to him.
It's for work though, so what can you do...

party!

We had a playdate/birthday party today for d's 2nd birthday. It was awesome!
It was perfect weather (65-70 degrees), sunny, and clear. The kids snacked, jumped on d's new trampoline and played outside till it was time for lunch. Then we did lunch, cake and more outside play. After that d opened presents, though I told everyone to NOT bring any, they did anyway. That's sweet, but I hate for people to think they need to bring anything.
We really just wanted their company.
Anyway, it was about 3 hours and d was completely exhausted when they left. I still am.

I think I had a little too much fun because my back is making me pay. In any case, it was a great day and a great party. d's real birthday is on Thursday, so I'll have to be thinking of a good "dear d" post till then. :)

A pic of my very happy, very dirty, little man!

From a 2 year old's perspective

This is d's imitation of me walking.






Dane's Mama imitation on Vimeo

ECP & BP

If you've never been pregnant you might just want to skip this post. You won't get it and if you're a woman, you might want to have your tubes tied.
You've been warned.








Now - for those of you who have been pregnant before, particularly 3rd trimester pg, you will know what I'm talking about (I hope!) when I say that the Evil Crotch Pain is back.
You know, that sharp, shooting, someone-just-stuck-a-knife-into-my-cervix-kill-me-now-pain?
Iiiiiiiiit's Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!


ECP is my absolute least favorite part of pregnancy for 2 reasons. 1 - it hurts like a sonofabitch. 2 - you want to grab your crotch area and scream, something that is not looked upon kindly, and is rather embarassing.

The only good thing about ECP is that it signals to me that baby has finally decided to become head down and put a helluva lot of pressure on my cervix, which is obviously necessary in order to be born. Woo!
O has taken his sweet time to switch out of a transverse position, and I was starting to wonder if he'd get stuck that way and I'd have to go with a c-section by default. D was head down for ages, so this was new to me.
In any case, O seems to have spared me the ECP for this long, so for that I'm grateful.

_________________
BP = Back pain

Back pain has become so familiar over the last 5 months or so that I just live with it, waddling along and grimacing to myself. D never asks me how I feel, and I rarely volunteer because I'd be saying the same thing every day and even I'd get tired of that.

So imagine how fast my chin hit the floor the other night when D said "man, my back hurts."
I couldn't say anything at all. I'm sure his back hurt as he put together d's trampoline and it was probably a lot of work and all. I think he wanted a back rub. From me. The almost 9 mo preggo who could count on one hand the number of back rubs I've recieved in my 2 pregnancies combined.

I started to laugh, and I didn't even feel bad about it. Being this pg can really make me bitchy.

Speaking of backs, this morning D was putting away the waffle maker and his back popped out of place. (so he says, I have no idea what that actually means, but I'll go with it.)
He immediately went and laid down and I went about rinsing the dishes to put in the dishwasher, but I had to stop eventually because the dishwasher was full of clean dishes.
Putting away clean dishes is D's chore. (which I do at least 4 days a week...)
He was still yammering on about his back and our conversation went a little something like this:
Him - It hurts, blah, blah, blah.
Me - Are you still planning on playing rugby today then?
Him - yeah.
Me - then you can still put away the dishes.

Too mean? I've lost all perspective.

It's a bright sunshiney day!

The weather here has been absolutely gorgeous all week and last week for that matter. It's supposed to be 75 today!

d and I went outside this morning to jump on his new trampoline (I just watched!) and it was only about 8am, but it was 55, the sun was out, the birds were chirping. It's Spring!!

We've been doing some spring cleaning around here and last night and this morning I cleaned up the screened-in porch. It's amazing how much dust, dog hair and cobwebs can accumulate over a short winter. It's all cleaned up now though. I bought some hanging plants to put in there this morning. It's really beautiful!!

Did I mention how nice it is?

inconsiderate visitors

*EDIT*

Love letters

We were recently asked to write "love letters" to my mother in law for a spiritual retreat she's attending soon. The deadline was today and, like the true procrastinators we are, we just finished it.

Can I just say how hard it is to write a love letter to your mil? She's not a bad person by any means, but let's just say she's really MIL-ish. Ya know?

I used to be able to B.S. my way through 3 page essay questions on my college exams. Yet I found it extremely difficult to write a one paragraph love letter to someone I've known for 10 years.
I honestly think it was the subject though, D had a really hard time too. His was kinda lame, but we fixed it.

I included a picture of the kid though, that's got to earn me some points.

random

I'm sick. I think this is the first time I've been sick while pg. Pretty lucky I guess. I hate feeling like my head weighs 20 lbs though. blech

__________

d has figured out that if he kisses me it's a good way to stall bedtime. I am simply incapable of telling him to stop or getting mad about it. He's so stinkin' cute.

___________

D will be traveling to Seattle for 10 days at the end of the month. Bad timing...
Hopefully O won't decide to come early.
I think that will be a long 10 days. I usually keep the "coming home time" in my head all day long as my sanity saver. Ten days with no break is a tall order for me right now.

__________

I cleaned out the dresser drawers and the closet today. It took me all day, but it looks good. I think I might be nesting. I was so tired, but I just. couldn't. stop.

__________

d's birthday is in 9 days. I can't believe he's almost 2. We're having a little playdate party on Monday. I'm making cupcakes and hopefully we'll have his present (a trampoline) put up by then. The kids would love that.

Mama De

My 89 yeard old great grandmother passed away this weekend. She was my only "great" left, and d's only great, great. Period.

He was going to meet her this summer for the first time ever. :(

It's always sad when you lose family, but she was a special lady indeed. She spent her last few years in CA, but will be buried in TX alongside her late husband. Sadly, due to several circumstances, it doesn't look like we'll be able to attend, even though my Dr. has given her reluctant approval.

Rest in peace Mama De.

49 days

and counting. Well, 48 if you don't count today.
I can't believe O will be here in less than 50 days. Less than 7 weeks.

I keep telling people I have about 6 weeks to go. I don't know why, I guess I don't count that last week. Maybe I'm just hoping that he'll come early.
I've been having massive amounts of BH contractions, which aren't incredibly painful, but not exactly pleasant either.
The Dr. says to rest more and pick up d less. Riiiight.

I do think O will not be overdue like d was, but since I'm 33 weeks today I'd like him to cook at LEAST 3 or 4 more weeks. No undercooked baby for me, thanks.


D is incredibly stupid when it comes to pg women. He never asks how I feel, if I need help or anything. I thought men were supposed to fall all over themselves to help their pg wives.
No?

A comforting word or two would at least be nice, even if it doesn't solve anything.

He's been forced to help out more around the house, picking up the slack so to speak, but I swear he seems resentful. He really lacks compassion. I hate that.

It doesn't help that I'm more than 8 months pg, huge and crabby. I mean, sometimes it's hard to love me. Some days I wish I could trade bodies with him and let him see what it's really like to be pg.
He looks at me like "are you kidding?!" when I can't stop waddling or my hips hurt from laying wrong and I need a minute (or a crane) to get out of bed.
No compassion I tell ya.