I'm just full of amusing things today. Note the slant of the eyes, the wording on the shirt...
Need I say more?
Monday, April 30, 2007
all boy
d and O were taking a bath together. d looks down at O in his little baby seat and says "little one." Then he looks down at his own, er, anatomy - and says "big one!"
He he.
He he.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
time warp
Did you ever notice that about two hours before your partner gets home for the night, time seems to slow down? Those two hours seem to be as long as the rest of the day!
What about those 20 minutes you have to wait to see the Dr? An eternity!
The time you're on hold to the phone company? That certainly feels like a long wait.
I must ask, why then, does a two hour nap fly by?
What about those 20 minutes you have to wait to see the Dr? An eternity!
The time you're on hold to the phone company? That certainly feels like a long wait.
I must ask, why then, does a two hour nap fly by?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
the blues
Just one more reason I hate the postpartum period.
On a normal day, if my clothes didn't fit I would shrug it off and go on a diet. Maybe even go work out.
On a postpartum day I eat cake and cry while the kids are napping.
d has finally realized that this little baby is not going anywhere. He's here to stay, and incidentally, he takes up a LOT of mama's time.
He's still sweet as sugar to the baby, but Mama gets the bad tempered 2 year old.
A diaper change?! Major meltdown material. On and on it goes.
I realize this is normal. Last week he had 2 sets of grandparents, Daddy & Mama to play with him. He had plenty of attention! This week, I'm outnumbered and he knows it.
I'm trying to spend extra time with him, but time where I'm not anchored to a chair with my boobs out is in short supply these days.
Luckily, O is a great sleeper for a newborn, and even d seems to be getting the idea. If that keeps up, I'll be happy!
Anyway, back to the blues. I hate feeling this way. Crying over something stupid, KNOWING it's stupid and feeling ridiculous.
Losing my temper. Losing my patience. I feel like I've lost all my good sense!
D is working overtime, playing rugby ("it's the championships!" like I give a @*$^) and organizing blood drives. He had to be at work at 6:30 this morning and will be home (he says...) at 5pm. He has to leave at 5:40 to make it to practice on time. Then, he conveniently gets home when both kids are in bed.
I asked him to think of us and skip just one practice this week. He actually looked at me like I'd sprouted two heads. I feel dejected.
He is the guy. The one who's supposed to be there. The one I can lean on. The one who has my back. You know?
I thought that's what he signed up for when we got married and decided to procreate. Yet, I feel pretty alone.
He keeps asking for my patience. Asks me to be understanding. He's just busy right now, it'll slow down, he says.
It's a recurring theme in our marriage, but this time I don't know how much longer I can wait.
On a normal day, if my clothes didn't fit I would shrug it off and go on a diet. Maybe even go work out.
On a postpartum day I eat cake and cry while the kids are napping.
d has finally realized that this little baby is not going anywhere. He's here to stay, and incidentally, he takes up a LOT of mama's time.
He's still sweet as sugar to the baby, but Mama gets the bad tempered 2 year old.
A diaper change?! Major meltdown material. On and on it goes.
I realize this is normal. Last week he had 2 sets of grandparents, Daddy & Mama to play with him. He had plenty of attention! This week, I'm outnumbered and he knows it.
I'm trying to spend extra time with him, but time where I'm not anchored to a chair with my boobs out is in short supply these days.
Luckily, O is a great sleeper for a newborn, and even d seems to be getting the idea. If that keeps up, I'll be happy!
Anyway, back to the blues. I hate feeling this way. Crying over something stupid, KNOWING it's stupid and feeling ridiculous.
Losing my temper. Losing my patience. I feel like I've lost all my good sense!
D is working overtime, playing rugby ("it's the championships!" like I give a @*$^) and organizing blood drives. He had to be at work at 6:30 this morning and will be home (he says...) at 5pm. He has to leave at 5:40 to make it to practice on time. Then, he conveniently gets home when both kids are in bed.
I asked him to think of us and skip just one practice this week. He actually looked at me like I'd sprouted two heads. I feel dejected.
He is the guy. The one who's supposed to be there. The one I can lean on. The one who has my back. You know?
I thought that's what he signed up for when we got married and decided to procreate. Yet, I feel pretty alone.
He keeps asking for my patience. Asks me to be understanding. He's just busy right now, it'll slow down, he says.
It's a recurring theme in our marriage, but this time I don't know how much longer I can wait.
Monday, April 23, 2007
random
- D won his rugby game this weekend. (yes - he went... Don't get me started!)
Now there is another game. Saturday. I hate to say it, but maybe they'll lose - because the championship is in San Diego. That's right - CA!!
- The visit with the inlaws was fine. Not too bad even. My mil can get under my skin, but really - she wasn't that bad. I just hate the way she holds new babies. I know they won't break - but a little gentleness is in order! Also, he's MY baby - I am allowed to hold him too. *sigh*
Really though, it wasn't bad.
- Today is my first day home with the boys by myself. It's not going too badly. Nursing = internet time so I'm pretty happy. d is remarkably good at playing alone for a two year old.
- I have the best friends ever! My mom's group has been bringing over dinner every night since I got home from the hospital!! My fridge is full, my freezer is full and frankly - I'm not that hungry so it's a little overwhelming! Still, it is so, so sweet of them to do this for us.
- O had his first bath yesterday. I got some of the sweetest pictures of him and d together. (think baby bathtub inside big bathtub) They bathed together and damn - we make some cute kids. I really wanted to post them, but being that this is the internet and they are very naked - I just can't. I'll try to get some that don't show anything next time.
- d asked for "Gama and Papa" (my parents) this morning, which made me so sad. They live very far away and he won't see them again for quite some time most likely. He's never asked for them before, and it sucks. I wish they lived closer.
- My inlaws like to be called MeeMaw and PeePaw. I can hardly choke out those words, I just hate those names. Sorry if your grandparents are called that - but my FIL is a man that you would never think of as PeePaw. eeps
Now there is another game. Saturday. I hate to say it, but maybe they'll lose - because the championship is in San Diego. That's right - CA!!
- The visit with the inlaws was fine. Not too bad even. My mil can get under my skin, but really - she wasn't that bad. I just hate the way she holds new babies. I know they won't break - but a little gentleness is in order! Also, he's MY baby - I am allowed to hold him too. *sigh*
Really though, it wasn't bad.
- Today is my first day home with the boys by myself. It's not going too badly. Nursing = internet time so I'm pretty happy. d is remarkably good at playing alone for a two year old.
- I have the best friends ever! My mom's group has been bringing over dinner every night since I got home from the hospital!! My fridge is full, my freezer is full and frankly - I'm not that hungry so it's a little overwhelming! Still, it is so, so sweet of them to do this for us.
- O had his first bath yesterday. I got some of the sweetest pictures of him and d together. (think baby bathtub inside big bathtub) They bathed together and damn - we make some cute kids. I really wanted to post them, but being that this is the internet and they are very naked - I just can't. I'll try to get some that don't show anything next time.
- d asked for "Gama and Papa" (my parents) this morning, which made me so sad. They live very far away and he won't see them again for quite some time most likely. He's never asked for them before, and it sucks. I wish they lived closer.
- My inlaws like to be called MeeMaw and PeePaw. I can hardly choke out those words, I just hate those names. Sorry if your grandparents are called that - but my FIL is a man that you would never think of as PeePaw. eeps
Another baby?
Swistle gave me the idea for this post. Being that I'm only 10 days postpartum, you'd think I wouldn't be thinking about the potential for number 3 (or more) yet. You're wrong though. I am indeed thinking about the possibility.
D and I have discussed how many children we'd like to have, and 3 or 4 has always been the answer. He leans toward 3, while I, being the middle of 3 myself, have always leaned toward 4. We always told each other that after each child, we'd discuss the possibility of another no matter how many we had. I'm not certain he wouldn't be happy with his 2 boys, though I think he secretly wants a girl, and I definitely would like one at some point.
I think if the next one is a girl, he'll be content with 3, while I think I'll still want at least four. Financially I'm not sure we could afford more than that, maybe not even that many.
I actually don't hate being pregnant, though you might think I do if you'd read some of my last trimester rants. I hate the pp period, except for the squishy little baby. I just can't imagine never breastfeeding again, never holding a little baby - knowing what a miracle we've made together. Never bringing another life into the world.
To be fair, I'm only 25 so perhaps that's a normal feeling. In ten years I might not feel the same way. In ten years I'll likely be done giving birth, though I can't imagine that now. I don't know if I'll ever *really* want to stop, though at some point we will, even before Mother Nature says I have to most likely.
D and I have discussed how many children we'd like to have, and 3 or 4 has always been the answer. He leans toward 3, while I, being the middle of 3 myself, have always leaned toward 4. We always told each other that after each child, we'd discuss the possibility of another no matter how many we had. I'm not certain he wouldn't be happy with his 2 boys, though I think he secretly wants a girl, and I definitely would like one at some point.
I think if the next one is a girl, he'll be content with 3, while I think I'll still want at least four. Financially I'm not sure we could afford more than that, maybe not even that many.
I actually don't hate being pregnant, though you might think I do if you'd read some of my last trimester rants. I hate the pp period, except for the squishy little baby. I just can't imagine never breastfeeding again, never holding a little baby - knowing what a miracle we've made together. Never bringing another life into the world.
To be fair, I'm only 25 so perhaps that's a normal feeling. In ten years I might not feel the same way. In ten years I'll likely be done giving birth, though I can't imagine that now. I don't know if I'll ever *really* want to stop, though at some point we will, even before Mother Nature says I have to most likely.
Friday, April 20, 2007
limbo
Now I remember that I hate the first month or so postpartum. I'd rather do labor & delivery 10 more times and then be awarded my regular pre-pregnancy body back.
And it wasn't even that great of a body.
The problem with this period is that maternity clothes make you look like you're still pregnant and your fat clothes make you look, well, fat.
Neither is a good option. Neither fits right anymore, and the only thing that's comfortable are those maternity yoga pants with the handy fold over panel thing that makes you look a bit thinner.
This is the time where I won't go anywhere without the baby, because somebody might ask when I'm due, or just think I've really let myself go.
I know, I know, I care too much about what other people think.
In reality, they're probably not thinking about or noticing me at all. Just another chubby lady with some kids at the grocery store. Nothing to write home about, after all.
How cruel is Mother Nature that some of us have to look crappy and deal with the loveliness that is the postpartum period too?!
What would be fair? After 9 months of bloating, gas, heartburn, fatigue, extreme hormones, painful belly kicks, above average weight gain, and a super powered nose that culminates with pushing something the size of a small watermelon out of a hole the size of a grapefruit, what would be fair is to look good. Even if I feel crappy, I could at least look good enough to go to the store without spending hours (OK minutes, but still frustrating!) trying on everything in my closet so I could find something that fits properly.
vain? Maybe, but I usually don't care all that much about my appearance. I'm not into makeup or new hair styles. My "fashion sense" is lacking. Jeans and a t-shirt is my uniform.
I just think that after pregnancy, labor and delivery, nature could at least give us the little gift of looking decent and not looking like we got run over with a donut truck after we ate the contents.
Is that really too much to ask?!
And it wasn't even that great of a body.
The problem with this period is that maternity clothes make you look like you're still pregnant and your fat clothes make you look, well, fat.
Neither is a good option. Neither fits right anymore, and the only thing that's comfortable are those maternity yoga pants with the handy fold over panel thing that makes you look a bit thinner.
This is the time where I won't go anywhere without the baby, because somebody might ask when I'm due, or just think I've really let myself go.
I know, I know, I care too much about what other people think.
In reality, they're probably not thinking about or noticing me at all. Just another chubby lady with some kids at the grocery store. Nothing to write home about, after all.
How cruel is Mother Nature that some of us have to look crappy and deal with the loveliness that is the postpartum period too?!
What would be fair? After 9 months of bloating, gas, heartburn, fatigue, extreme hormones, painful belly kicks, above average weight gain, and a super powered nose that culminates with pushing something the size of a small watermelon out of a hole the size of a grapefruit, what would be fair is to look good. Even if I feel crappy, I could at least look good enough to go to the store without spending hours (OK minutes, but still frustrating!) trying on everything in my closet so I could find something that fits properly.
vain? Maybe, but I usually don't care all that much about my appearance. I'm not into makeup or new hair styles. My "fashion sense" is lacking. Jeans and a t-shirt is my uniform.
I just think that after pregnancy, labor and delivery, nature could at least give us the little gift of looking decent and not looking like we got run over with a donut truck after we ate the contents.
Is that really too much to ask?!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
birth story
birth story:
I went in at 5am on Friday to be induced. I got pitocin a little after 6am. I was expecting cervadil as that's what I was induced with last time, but that wasn't the plan, so I was a bit nervous, but there was no turning back!!
I started having mild contractions after 15-20 minutes or so and my Dr came in at 7:30 and broke my water. (OUCH! Worst pain ever!) At this point my cervix was still high, 3cm dilated and the baby was still high as well. At about 8:30 or so the contractions got to be too much for me, and when she checked me I was still a 3. Discouraged, I got the epidural and hoped for the best! It was a good decision, it made me relax and I could still feel a bit, but it wasn't painful. At around 10:30 or so she checked me again, after the baby had some problem with his heartbeat going down with each contraction. I was at 6cm at that point. They put a monitor on O's head so they could regulate his heartbeat better and said that they were going to put some fluid back IN the uterus in case his cord was being compressed. The nurse left to go get the stuff she needed and another nurse and was back in less than five minutes. When she was about to start, she found that I was complete! And the baby was ready to join us!! [:O] I'd gone from 6 to complete in 5 minutes! Needless to say, they skipped that procedure and called the Dr!
I had been telling them I felt pressure, but I guess they didn't realize how much. lol
While the Dr was getting ready I turned to Darren and said "it feels like he's going to just fall out!"
When the Dr heard that, she came over and I pushed with the next contraction. Darren didn't even get to 10 before he was out!! O was born @ 11:13 AM & was 7lbs 9oz, 19 inches long.
It was really such an easy and wonderful birth. I felt great afterward, though I did get a 2nd degree tear and some stitches. He's been breastfeeding like a champ ever since he was a few minutes old.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
reflections
As our time as a family of 3 draws to a close, I find myself feeling a little melancholy. Of course, adding a new baby to the mix is a blessing and a joy, but it doesn't negate the fact that our lives are about to change. d's world is likely going to be turned upside down.
As he came into our bed this morning for his morning snuggle session, a tear rolled down my face. I was realizing that never again would we have that snuggle time without another little love to share it with. How will d react to having to share his mama and daddy? I'm sure these things all work out, but I can't help feeling a little guilty for springing this baby on him.
Sure, we've been talking about O baby for months now, but does he *really* understand?
Even if he "gets" that we'll be bringing a new baby home to stay (which I'm not convinced he does...) he likely can't imagine how things will change around here. I can't and I've got 23 years on him.
This is our last day as a family of three. Soon, we'll be a family of four, with all the blessings and blunders that that involves.
I really haven't been worried about it till now, I just assumed that it would all work out. And I'm sure it will. I guess that O's impending arrival (tomorrow!) has opened my eyes to the changes that will come.
The logistics of nursing a newborn while trying to keep a 2 year old out of trouble.
The nightmare of having 2 kids who don't sleep through the night.
The jealousy.
The love. x 2
The sibling bond.
2 sweet boys to cuddle instead of one.
I think we'll make it.
As he came into our bed this morning for his morning snuggle session, a tear rolled down my face. I was realizing that never again would we have that snuggle time without another little love to share it with. How will d react to having to share his mama and daddy? I'm sure these things all work out, but I can't help feeling a little guilty for springing this baby on him.
Sure, we've been talking about O baby for months now, but does he *really* understand?
Even if he "gets" that we'll be bringing a new baby home to stay (which I'm not convinced he does...) he likely can't imagine how things will change around here. I can't and I've got 23 years on him.
This is our last day as a family of three. Soon, we'll be a family of four, with all the blessings and blunders that that involves.
I really haven't been worried about it till now, I just assumed that it would all work out. And I'm sure it will. I guess that O's impending arrival (tomorrow!) has opened my eyes to the changes that will come.
The logistics of nursing a newborn while trying to keep a 2 year old out of trouble.
The nightmare of having 2 kids who don't sleep through the night.
The jealousy.
The love. x 2
The sibling bond.
2 sweet boys to cuddle instead of one.
I think we'll make it.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
random thoughts
1 - my first kid doesn't sleep. What was I thinking adding another one to the mix?
2 - I'm starting to hate rugby.
3 - my parents will be here tomorrow. The house is pretty clean, but I guess I could clean it some more. Should I bother?
4 - Darren is still at work. Again. He's been home for dinner only all week, then he leaves. Why did I marry a workaholic?
5 - I'm exhausted. I should really go to bed.
6 - My inlaws insisted we set a date for our Meet the Baby party, giving us two options of dates that they said would work for their crew. Well, we picked one, made up the evite and sent it out. Now, ONE day later, that date won't work. *sigh*
7 - Also, they are bugging us about the baptism. Small problem - we haven't picked godparents because we are waiting on one little question and some jewlery to pass hands. Alas, someone is exceedingly slow in this area.
8 - D is definitely planning on going to his playoff game next weekend, though O will be a week old, d will still be 2, and I will be 1 week pp. PLUS, his parents are planning on visiting that weekend. I know they want to see the baby, and I don't fault them for that. D is an ass for refusing to stay home. My parents might still be here, if I haven't gotten sick of them by then and made them leave.
9 - I've had some whopper contractions today, thanks, I'm sure, to the internal and cervix stretching by my Dr. Maybe they'll turn into something.
10 - I've been making brownies for every meetup and playgroup we've had this week. I've put crushed up Easter candy in each batch, just to get rid of it. I've done this despite the fact that I know most of these women are on a diet. I've got to get rid of the Easter candy somehow...
11 - I'm worried about d while we're in the hospital. I know he'll survive, but we leave him so rarely that it is nerve wracking. D will hopefully be home each night to put him in bed, because bedtime is precarious anyway...
12 - We will have to have a talk with my parents about our discipline style. My parents are strong believers in spanking, D & I are not. My parents most likely think he will turn out to be a brat, but I do not want them to spank him. Period. My Dad is also a yeller, way more than me. :) How to do this delicately is the problem. I think I'll just blurt out, "We don't spank, so please don't. Also, try not to yell a lot." Think that will work?
13 - Damn, I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
2 - I'm starting to hate rugby.
3 - my parents will be here tomorrow. The house is pretty clean, but I guess I could clean it some more. Should I bother?
4 - Darren is still at work. Again. He's been home for dinner only all week, then he leaves. Why did I marry a workaholic?
5 - I'm exhausted. I should really go to bed.
6 - My inlaws insisted we set a date for our Meet the Baby party, giving us two options of dates that they said would work for their crew. Well, we picked one, made up the evite and sent it out. Now, ONE day later, that date won't work. *sigh*
7 - Also, they are bugging us about the baptism. Small problem - we haven't picked godparents because we are waiting on one little question and some jewlery to pass hands. Alas, someone is exceedingly slow in this area.
8 - D is definitely planning on going to his playoff game next weekend, though O will be a week old, d will still be 2, and I will be 1 week pp. PLUS, his parents are planning on visiting that weekend. I know they want to see the baby, and I don't fault them for that. D is an ass for refusing to stay home. My parents might still be here, if I haven't gotten sick of them by then and made them leave.
9 - I've had some whopper contractions today, thanks, I'm sure, to the internal and cervix stretching by my Dr. Maybe they'll turn into something.
10 - I've been making brownies for every meetup and playgroup we've had this week. I've put crushed up Easter candy in each batch, just to get rid of it. I've done this despite the fact that I know most of these women are on a diet. I've got to get rid of the Easter candy somehow...
11 - I'm worried about d while we're in the hospital. I know he'll survive, but we leave him so rarely that it is nerve wracking. D will hopefully be home each night to put him in bed, because bedtime is precarious anyway...
12 - We will have to have a talk with my parents about our discipline style. My parents are strong believers in spanking, D & I are not. My parents most likely think he will turn out to be a brat, but I do not want them to spank him. Period. My Dad is also a yeller, way more than me. :) How to do this delicately is the problem. I think I'll just blurt out, "We don't spank, so please don't. Also, try not to yell a lot." Think that will work?
13 - Damn, I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
O baby
will be here on Friday. :)
Cervix is a little more ripe, tiny bit more dilated and the baby is engaged. Dr. said that she was a teeny bit concerned about size, because d was a good size for a first baby, though not huge by any means.
I'm so done being pg, so I agreed.
I know about inductions and I know it's totally not crunchy, but I'm done. Plus, this way, my parents can come down and watch d and I won't have to worry about him the whole time I'm in labor.
So, 5am on Friday - we have a date!
(I'm only the tiniest bit freaked that that is Friday the 13th. I'm not superstitious, but still...)
I have plenty to do now, things to finish. Also, now I'm a little bit nervous. Maybe I'm not quite as ready as I thought...
Am I ready for 2 kids?
Well, ready or not, here I come!!
Cervix is a little more ripe, tiny bit more dilated and the baby is engaged. Dr. said that she was a teeny bit concerned about size, because d was a good size for a first baby, though not huge by any means.
I'm so done being pg, so I agreed.
I know about inductions and I know it's totally not crunchy, but I'm done. Plus, this way, my parents can come down and watch d and I won't have to worry about him the whole time I'm in labor.
So, 5am on Friday - we have a date!
(I'm only the tiniest bit freaked that that is Friday the 13th. I'm not superstitious, but still...)
I have plenty to do now, things to finish. Also, now I'm a little bit nervous. Maybe I'm not quite as ready as I thought...
Am I ready for 2 kids?
Well, ready or not, here I come!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
11 and counting
11 days...
NO park today. Instead we're going to stay at home and rot our brains with TV and maybe do some finger painting or something, just so I don't feel too guilty.
I have a Dr's appt tomorrow at 9:30. Hopefully I've made major progress, or else all these contractions have just been for fun.
Stay tuned.
NO park today. Instead we're going to stay at home and rot our brains with TV and maybe do some finger painting or something, just so I don't feel too guilty.
I have a Dr's appt tomorrow at 9:30. Hopefully I've made major progress, or else all these contractions have just been for fun.
Stay tuned.
Monday, April 09, 2007
12 days and counting
till the due date. I feel like a ticking time bomb. I know the baby has to come out eventually.
I have a Dr's appt on Wednesday and I'm hoping she's going to tell me I'm dilated even more than a 2 (like I was last time) and fully effaced and ready to go! Hey, it could happen.
I'm getting a little sick of all this false labor crap. I never had any of that with d, so it's new and irritating. With d, I never wanted to be induced and only ended up that way because I ran out of time. This time, if she offers it's going to be hard to turn down. I'm really over being pg.
______________
Easter was great. d had a great time hunting eggs, and eating candy. Church was as crappy as every other Sunday, with d screaming "NO CHURCH" for a good part of the first 1/2 hour. I don't believe I heard a word that was said and we hightailed it out of there after communion.
Tell me my 2 year old is not the only one who acts like this in church!!
______________
My MIL insisted we take $30 that she collected for us from their Easter egg hunt. I think this is very weird, considering
1 - we weren't there as it's about 16 hours from here.
2 - even if I wasn't pg, Easter is my family's holiday, so we would have been there.
3 - D is almost 27 years old, and an engineer. He makes good money and yet his mother is insisting on bringing us the money from an Easter egg hunt we didn't even participate in.
Does that sound weird to anyone else?
D told her to give the money to his siblings who were actually at the Easter egg hunt but she was offended by that. Oh well, it's not like money is a bad thing, but this just seems.... weird.
She still tries to give us gas money when we visit, like we're in high school or something. We always give it back, it just seems strange to give your grown children money for gas. They used to hide money here whenever they stayed too, for us to find after they left. They finally stopped doing that, thank goodness.
________________
I hate the book of the month club. How do I get started in these things? I should just call and cancel so they'll quit sending me stuff, but I haven't yet.
_______________
I had my massage and pedicure on Saturday. Very nice. My toes look great too, so when I'm in the hospital I'll have something nice to look at. :)
_______________
My mom's group meets at the park tomorrow, which I don't like much anymore because I have to keep a closer eye on d, since he could be snatched or run away at any second. That means I can't just sit down and talk to the other mommies, I have to actually work. Especially now that I'm so pregnant, it's hard to keep up with him at the park, which is huge and a place that's hard to keep your kids in view unless you're following them around. blech
I have a Dr's appt on Wednesday and I'm hoping she's going to tell me I'm dilated even more than a 2 (like I was last time) and fully effaced and ready to go! Hey, it could happen.
I'm getting a little sick of all this false labor crap. I never had any of that with d, so it's new and irritating. With d, I never wanted to be induced and only ended up that way because I ran out of time. This time, if she offers it's going to be hard to turn down. I'm really over being pg.
______________
Easter was great. d had a great time hunting eggs, and eating candy. Church was as crappy as every other Sunday, with d screaming "NO CHURCH" for a good part of the first 1/2 hour. I don't believe I heard a word that was said and we hightailed it out of there after communion.
Tell me my 2 year old is not the only one who acts like this in church!!
______________
My MIL insisted we take $30 that she collected for us from their Easter egg hunt. I think this is very weird, considering
1 - we weren't there as it's about 16 hours from here.
2 - even if I wasn't pg, Easter is my family's holiday, so we would have been there.
3 - D is almost 27 years old, and an engineer. He makes good money and yet his mother is insisting on bringing us the money from an Easter egg hunt we didn't even participate in.
Does that sound weird to anyone else?
D told her to give the money to his siblings who were actually at the Easter egg hunt but she was offended by that. Oh well, it's not like money is a bad thing, but this just seems.... weird.
She still tries to give us gas money when we visit, like we're in high school or something. We always give it back, it just seems strange to give your grown children money for gas. They used to hide money here whenever they stayed too, for us to find after they left. They finally stopped doing that, thank goodness.
________________
I hate the book of the month club. How do I get started in these things? I should just call and cancel so they'll quit sending me stuff, but I haven't yet.
_______________
I had my massage and pedicure on Saturday. Very nice. My toes look great too, so when I'm in the hospital I'll have something nice to look at. :)
_______________
My mom's group meets at the park tomorrow, which I don't like much anymore because I have to keep a closer eye on d, since he could be snatched or run away at any second. That means I can't just sit down and talk to the other mommies, I have to actually work. Especially now that I'm so pregnant, it's hard to keep up with him at the park, which is huge and a place that's hard to keep your kids in view unless you're following them around. blech
Friday, April 06, 2007
Easter
Earlier today, I got an idea about boiling some eggs and dyeing them for Easter. We haven't done this in d's short life because it seemed like a lot of work for someone who didn't know what was going on.
This year he was completely into it! He helped me boil the eggs and mix the vinegar and water with the color dye tablets. He was so excited to dye those eggs that I almost wished I'd done more than 15. (but really, what family of 3 can eat that many boiled eggs?)
He was so cute. I didn't get very many good pictures, what with trying to keep him from dropping the eggs and spilling dye everywhere, but it was fun. Plus, it kept us busy for at least an hour or so.
MeMe - because I feel like it
Three Things That Scare Me:
1. Having something bad happen to my family
2. Spiders
3. Confrontation
Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. my son
2. my husband
3. my mom
Three Things I Love:
1. my family (at least most of them. ;) )
2. chocolate
3. Sonic hamburgers
Three Things I Hate:
1. being lied to
2. people who can't take a hint
3. people who are not at all thoughtful
Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. Advanced math - what's with all the letters? I thought math was about numbers...
2. My husbands job.
3. Why pregnancy lasts 10 months, but everyone says it's 9.
Three Things On My Desk:
1. computer
2. stapler
3. bills
Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. blogging
2. having a contraction
3. listening to d meow at the cat from the bathtub
Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. see my kids grow up to be happy
2. see my grandchildren
3. Travel more
Three Things I Can Do:
1. mother
2. teach
3. cook
Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. math
2. run, except maybe to save my life
3. drive a manual
Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. sweet, blissful silence
2. your children laugh and play
3. the ocean
Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. fashion magazines
2. people who give unwanted parenting advice
3. crappy music
Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. how to drive a manual
2. photography
3. what men really think...
Three Favorite Foods:
1. chocolate
2. Mexican food, especially the cheese
3. a really good salad
Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Facts of Life
2. Golden Girls (I can't believe my parents let us watch that!)
3. Sesame Street
Three Things I Regret:
1. Trusting my high school "best friend" so much
2. Holding grudges
3. Not making D work harder to get me to marry him. I made it way too easy.
1. Having something bad happen to my family
2. Spiders
3. Confrontation
Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. my son
2. my husband
3. my mom
Three Things I Love:
1. my family (at least most of them. ;) )
2. chocolate
3. Sonic hamburgers
Three Things I Hate:
1. being lied to
2. people who can't take a hint
3. people who are not at all thoughtful
Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. Advanced math - what's with all the letters? I thought math was about numbers...
2. My husbands job.
3. Why pregnancy lasts 10 months, but everyone says it's 9.
Three Things On My Desk:
1. computer
2. stapler
3. bills
Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. blogging
2. having a contraction
3. listening to d meow at the cat from the bathtub
Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. see my kids grow up to be happy
2. see my grandchildren
3. Travel more
Three Things I Can Do:
1. mother
2. teach
3. cook
Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. math
2. run, except maybe to save my life
3. drive a manual
Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. sweet, blissful silence
2. your children laugh and play
3. the ocean
Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. fashion magazines
2. people who give unwanted parenting advice
3. crappy music
Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. how to drive a manual
2. photography
3. what men really think...
Three Favorite Foods:
1. chocolate
2. Mexican food, especially the cheese
3. a really good salad
Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. Facts of Life
2. Golden Girls (I can't believe my parents let us watch that!)
3. Sesame Street
Three Things I Regret:
1. Trusting my high school "best friend" so much
2. Holding grudges
3. Not making D work harder to get me to marry him. I made it way too easy.
ouch!
O baby won't quit simultaneously kicking me in the ribs and pounding on my cervix. I think he's run out of room in there.
Tough luck, kid, that means it's time to come on out!!
We went shopping today and I got d's Easter stuff plus some eggs and dye. d got a ridiculously huge bunny balloon. Stupid thing made him so happy I couldn't resist. He fell asleep clutching it in the car.
I didn't get anything to make for Easter dinner. I guess we'll just wing it because doing the whole big thing really didn't seem like something I wanted to do right now.
D will be home at 3pm today. I guess all my death stares and almost silent treatment scared him a little. Mature, I know...
Nothing much going on here, just waiting on labor I guess. Tomorrow is my appointment for my prenatal massage and my pedicure! I can't wait. I've never had either, though I've had manicures before. After that O is allowed to come, because I really don't want to miss it. lol
Tough luck, kid, that means it's time to come on out!!
We went shopping today and I got d's Easter stuff plus some eggs and dye. d got a ridiculously huge bunny balloon. Stupid thing made him so happy I couldn't resist. He fell asleep clutching it in the car.
I didn't get anything to make for Easter dinner. I guess we'll just wing it because doing the whole big thing really didn't seem like something I wanted to do right now.
D will be home at 3pm today. I guess all my death stares and almost silent treatment scared him a little. Mature, I know...
Nothing much going on here, just waiting on labor I guess. Tomorrow is my appointment for my prenatal massage and my pedicure! I can't wait. I've never had either, though I've had manicures before. After that O is allowed to come, because I really don't want to miss it. lol
Thursday, April 05, 2007
eh
being pg has lost all it's charm. When I was pg with d I was truly happy and actually enjoyed it until the last week or so, and even then, I was willing to wait and be patient and not all that complainy.
That's just not so this time. I had no idea that it would so much harder to be pregnant while chasing a toddler. The first tri, while I was so sick, was sucky, but this last trimester has really done me in. The last month especially.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in over 2 years. Being 9 mo pg AND sleep deprived sucks.
It doesn't help that D has been basically absent for the past 3 weeks or so. First he's traveling, now he's home, but he's working so much that we never see him. It's getting old really fast. Every day this week he's worked a minimum of 12 hours a day, and come home only for dinner. He stays less than a hour and then goes back to work. Last night he didn't get home till 10pm.
Tonight he said he'd be home at 5 or 5:30, and mentioned that he has rugby at 6. I don't think I need to go into how I feel about that.
I don't know if he's just being particularly pin headed lately or if I just don't have the energy/desire to work on it. I can hardly think of anything nice to say about him lately and any loving feelings are a struggle. Most days I just want him to come home, not to keep me company, but to give me a freaking break!
I try to tell myself that he is working hard and taking care of us and it can't be easy on him either. He must be pushed to the limit. God knows I am.
I struggle with writing about him, because he honestly IS a good person, yet I find it hard to say anything nice about him.
He's a hard worker and smart, funny, handsome, caring, and a good father. He doesn't cheat or beat me or anything like that. I know it could be so much worse, but I feel like what we have is *not* what I signed up for.
Maybe I just didn't have my eyes open. Maybe I was in denial.
Maybe the hormones are drowning me. Hormones at this stage and right after the baby is born are vicious, vile things. They can really mess with your brain, but it just feels like my heart is what's in trouble.
I want, for once in my life, for him to put me first. Above everything. He says that we're first, but it doesn't hold true against work, rugby, and various other things that come up.
I just feel so sad and so let down. I feel like I do it all, and I can, but I shouldn't have to and I don't want to. Honestly, short of earning a paycheck - what does he contribute? More dirty dishes?
That doesn't always hold true, but for the last month or so it certainly has. I'd talk to him about it, but whenever I try it's always one excuse or another. Plus he's only here while I'm sleeping...
I feel bad for d too, he misses Daddy. He probably misses Mama too. I haven't been myself at all lately, and he's been parked in front of the TV far too many times.
Well, crap. This post is really depressing. Somebody should say something funny to snap me out of it.
That's just not so this time. I had no idea that it would so much harder to be pregnant while chasing a toddler. The first tri, while I was so sick, was sucky, but this last trimester has really done me in. The last month especially.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in over 2 years. Being 9 mo pg AND sleep deprived sucks.
It doesn't help that D has been basically absent for the past 3 weeks or so. First he's traveling, now he's home, but he's working so much that we never see him. It's getting old really fast. Every day this week he's worked a minimum of 12 hours a day, and come home only for dinner. He stays less than a hour and then goes back to work. Last night he didn't get home till 10pm.
Tonight he said he'd be home at 5 or 5:30, and mentioned that he has rugby at 6. I don't think I need to go into how I feel about that.
I don't know if he's just being particularly pin headed lately or if I just don't have the energy/desire to work on it. I can hardly think of anything nice to say about him lately and any loving feelings are a struggle. Most days I just want him to come home, not to keep me company, but to give me a freaking break!
I try to tell myself that he is working hard and taking care of us and it can't be easy on him either. He must be pushed to the limit. God knows I am.
I struggle with writing about him, because he honestly IS a good person, yet I find it hard to say anything nice about him.
He's a hard worker and smart, funny, handsome, caring, and a good father. He doesn't cheat or beat me or anything like that. I know it could be so much worse, but I feel like what we have is *not* what I signed up for.
Maybe I just didn't have my eyes open. Maybe I was in denial.
Maybe the hormones are drowning me. Hormones at this stage and right after the baby is born are vicious, vile things. They can really mess with your brain, but it just feels like my heart is what's in trouble.
I want, for once in my life, for him to put me first. Above everything. He says that we're first, but it doesn't hold true against work, rugby, and various other things that come up.
I just feel so sad and so let down. I feel like I do it all, and I can, but I shouldn't have to and I don't want to. Honestly, short of earning a paycheck - what does he contribute? More dirty dishes?
That doesn't always hold true, but for the last month or so it certainly has. I'd talk to him about it, but whenever I try it's always one excuse or another. Plus he's only here while I'm sleeping...
I feel bad for d too, he misses Daddy. He probably misses Mama too. I haven't been myself at all lately, and he's been parked in front of the TV far too many times.
Well, crap. This post is really depressing. Somebody should say something funny to snap me out of it.
false labor
is so much fun!!
It's painful and irritating and leads to nothing. Maybe soon, but I'm still here for now.
It's painful and irritating and leads to nothing. Maybe soon, but I'm still here for now.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
la de dah
I've felt really crampy today and just crappy in general. I'm having contractions, painful ones, but not painful enough. I can walk and talk just fine. Plus, they're really far apart.
Could this be it? Or could this just be false labor?
I don't know, maybe it's the start of something. *fingers crossed*
Could this be it? Or could this just be false labor?
I don't know, maybe it's the start of something. *fingers crossed*
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
friends
Last night I went to our book club meeting. I hate the book, but really wanted a night out, since D has been working so much and my time out is going to be limited after O baby arrives.
Anyway, when I got there they said one of the members (there are only 5 of us) wanted to meet us for dinner at Applebee's since her hubby was working late, blah blah. I thought that was strange, but hey - dessert! No arguments from me!!
After appetizers they gave me a gift bag with the sweetest card and a great gift. A gift certificate for a prenatal massage and pedicure. HEAVEN!! They even made the appointment for me, knowing me all too well as a procrastinator most likely.
So, on Saturday I get to go to this day spa (I've never been to a spa...) and get a massage, which I'm a little nervous about - do I get to keep my clothes on?
Then a pedicure, which my poor, swollen and sad feet will surely appreciate. Then I can go into labor with nice toes. ha!
________________________
D's working crazy overtime. Yesterday he worked from 7am-7pm. Today he left at 6am, which kind of pissed me off only because d was still sleeping. It's rare that he's not up by 5:30, yet today he slept and D woke me up. ugh. There is no mercy.
________________________
I cleaned the entire house yesterday. I'm talking C L E A N! It's nice to have a clean house, but I really don't like cleaning that much. I just couldn't seem to stop, so maybe it's nesting. My legs hurt today though, serves me right I guess.
________________________
Now for a weird update. D called his parents last night to talk with the hidden agenda of making sure that they were made well aware of the fact that we were not open to visitors immediately after O is born. (again...) He did this in reference to the comment his mother made to me while he was in Seattle.
I was not here, but apparently the conversation went well.
He reminded her that we did not want them to come visit while we were still in the hospital. She said she knew that and wasn't planning on coming.
WTH!? Why, then did she make the comment to ME that she was coming for a night as soon as O was born?
Strange indeed.
They better not just show up uninvited is all I have to say. PP hormones are vile things, and I won't be held responsible for what I may say or do.
On the same topic, she mentioned that the only time they could come is the weekend of the 21st, which coincidentally, is my due date. Will O be here before then? I don't know.
To make this fun a little better, D has a rugby game in N.C. on the 21st. Which he's actually planning to go to. I find this infuriating, he simply responds that "it's the playoffs."
Um, ok.
So, they will be here, I *might* (please God!) have had O by then, and D will be gone. O could be a week old, a few days old, even not born yet.
If O is at least a week old and D is here, I can tolerate that visit. Otherwise, it doesn't sound good.
Also, since when is it polite to just *tell* people when you're coming and not *ask* if that's acceptable?
I digress. I'm hoping this is a non-issue.
Anyway, when I got there they said one of the members (there are only 5 of us) wanted to meet us for dinner at Applebee's since her hubby was working late, blah blah. I thought that was strange, but hey - dessert! No arguments from me!!
After appetizers they gave me a gift bag with the sweetest card and a great gift. A gift certificate for a prenatal massage and pedicure. HEAVEN!! They even made the appointment for me, knowing me all too well as a procrastinator most likely.
So, on Saturday I get to go to this day spa (I've never been to a spa...) and get a massage, which I'm a little nervous about - do I get to keep my clothes on?
Then a pedicure, which my poor, swollen and sad feet will surely appreciate. Then I can go into labor with nice toes. ha!
________________________
D's working crazy overtime. Yesterday he worked from 7am-7pm. Today he left at 6am, which kind of pissed me off only because d was still sleeping. It's rare that he's not up by 5:30, yet today he slept and D woke me up. ugh. There is no mercy.
________________________
I cleaned the entire house yesterday. I'm talking C L E A N! It's nice to have a clean house, but I really don't like cleaning that much. I just couldn't seem to stop, so maybe it's nesting. My legs hurt today though, serves me right I guess.
________________________
Now for a weird update. D called his parents last night to talk with the hidden agenda of making sure that they were made well aware of the fact that we were not open to visitors immediately after O is born. (again...) He did this in reference to the comment his mother made to me while he was in Seattle.
I was not here, but apparently the conversation went well.
He reminded her that we did not want them to come visit while we were still in the hospital. She said she knew that and wasn't planning on coming.
WTH!? Why, then did she make the comment to ME that she was coming for a night as soon as O was born?
Strange indeed.
They better not just show up uninvited is all I have to say. PP hormones are vile things, and I won't be held responsible for what I may say or do.
On the same topic, she mentioned that the only time they could come is the weekend of the 21st, which coincidentally, is my due date. Will O be here before then? I don't know.
To make this fun a little better, D has a rugby game in N.C. on the 21st. Which he's actually planning to go to. I find this infuriating, he simply responds that "it's the playoffs."
Um, ok.
So, they will be here, I *might* (please God!) have had O by then, and D will be gone. O could be a week old, a few days old, even not born yet.
If O is at least a week old and D is here, I can tolerate that visit. Otherwise, it doesn't sound good.
Also, since when is it polite to just *tell* people when you're coming and not *ask* if that's acceptable?
I digress. I'm hoping this is a non-issue.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Things that annoy me
I'm 9 months pregnant so I'm annoyed a lot. If you don't want to hear about it, come back later and I'll post something happier.
- D is at work. It's Sunday, I must be hard to be around right now. Either that or he's a workaholic.
- D complained that I made brownies. I made them for my mom's group last night, but didn't have the energy to go so I didn't. Now I'll just take them to the playgroup tomorrow. WHY does he care? I don't know, but I just about shoved a brownie in his face to shut him the hell up. Idiot.
- My feet are swollen beyond recognition. My fingers are swollen too, which never happened with d. I had to take my wedding ring off today and put it on a chain. What's weird is that I gained 33lbs this time so far, and with d I gained 50 and yet I never had to take off my ring. Damn hot weather!
- I went to the store alone today. That did not annoy me, as it was the only hour alone I've had since several weeks ago. However, as I was leaving I told D that he should *try* to get d to take a nap sometime in the next hour. His response was that he couldn't believe I'd be at the STORE for an HOUR. WTF?! I can't get a freaking hour to walk around the store and get groceries?? I almost went out to lunch just to be gone 2 (or 3) hours, but I had groceries in the car and as mentioned - it's hot.
- When I got home, d was not napping. d had not had a new diaper. d had not eaten lunch. They did play and D read Saturday's paper, so there you go.
- We didn't get our paper today! We have a subscription for the Sunday paper. ONLY SUNDAY! For months we've had it. They haven't gotten it right yet. Some weekends we get Saturday and Sunday, sometimes we get Friday and Saturday. Sometimes we get Sunday. I just want the Sunday paper!! How hard is that?!
- Sex. Seriously, I'm going to have to hurt him. Once a week is not only more than enough at this point, but I'm thinking it's too much. (I'm 9 mo pg for pete's sake!) Quit bugging me, because then I have to vent about and nobody wants to know about our sex life! Sorry dear readers.
OK, way too many of those were about D. Wasn't I just missing him a few days ago?
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