Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Life marches on

Despite all the stress and sickness and general crabbiness around here it always amazes me how time just keeps marching.
I look at d and cannot believe that my first born, the baby I just had yesterday, is about to turn 3 in two months. Three. Years. Old. Where did the time go?
I look at O and still see that baby that we were so excited about this time last year. And in 3 months he'll be one. He's walking and starting to talk and sometimes I wish time would just stand still for a second. Give me a chance to breath, to enjoy these days.
I'm going to have another baby in a mere 16 weeks or less and I know time won't slow down then either. If anything, the more we put on our plate the faster time ticks by.
It's SO hard to enjoy the early days of parenting. There's a lot that's not that enjoyable and it can become so easy to get bogged down in the everyday. The diapers and feeding, bathing and reading and arguing and potty training, the sickness and money and uncertainty of it all.

I know, however that I WILL look back on these days and wish that I'd been able to live in the moment a little more. To overlook the laundry and the dishes and hold my child who just wants some extra attention. To enjoy the quiet nighttime when I'd rather be sleeping. Someday I'll have all the time in the world to sleep and no chubby babies to cuddle next to me. And I'll miss it.

As much as I'd love to just let the house go to hell and play all day long (OK, that would be a wee bit boring) I know that's not the answer either. I'm struggling to find balance.
I'm struggling with how I'm going to deal with 3 little boys, all 3 and under. I had a heck of a time adjusting to 2 babies and then I got myself right back in a mess with #3 coming a little sooner than planned.
I wonder how I'm going to get them ALL to nap when I still have to lay down with d to get him to sleep. I wonder how O will react at a young 13 months to sharing Mama. I wonder if our bed is big enough for all of us, or if I'll be able to get O to sleep in his own bed before then.
I see how d and O are finally starting to play and all the adoration there and I wonder if one of them will get left out when the new baby starts to play too. I wonder if this baby will EVER have a name and if I'll ever sleep again.

Then, I wonder how much I'll miss these days when my boys are teenagers with girlfriends, or college guys, or married. Or fathers.
That's when I start to feel time slipping away. Individual days can feel so long; waiting for 5 pm, waiting for bedtime, waiting for blissful sleep. But when you think of yesterday or last week, you can scarcely remember the things you did. The days just slip right by.
I'm just trying to hold on a little. I'll miss these days when they're gone and I'd like to have as few regrets as possible.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Good news!

Penny (dog) came home at 5 after 8 this morning! She obviously got into something. She was limping, filthy and matted and shaking. The important thing is that she's home!!

Also, O has a Dr's appt this afternoon at 1:30 so let's just hope this rash and head bobbing are nothing at all.


UPDATE:
O's rash is likely viral and nothing to be concerned about unless it gets worse instead of better. The head bobbing thing is probably related to teething. He's getting several new teeth on the top and the ped said that sometimes the pain can cause them to do that. Hopefully it's nothing and will go away as the pain subsides some.
YAY!

ME:
The nurse from my dr's office called today to discuss my u/s results. My heart immediately stopped beating because they never call unless something is wrong. No news is good news.
The nurse was quick to assure that the baby was fine (phew!) and my heart started beating again.
I, however, have a fibroid. Not that big of a deal, as long as it doesn't get too big or block the cervix. They'll have to monitor it, but let's just hope that it's nothing. Please, please.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Gah.

I've refrained from talking about all the shitty stuff that's been happening lately, but I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point today.
Since we've moved it seems like nothing has gone right. Things have broken, water pipes have frozen, services haven't been hooked up like promised (Kn*logy sucks.), and the kids have been sick or crabby, plus we're broke.

Remember way back in December when I said that d & O both had their first ever ear infection and subsequent antibiotics. Well, 10 days later the first round hadn't worked so we went onto a 10 day course of another antibiotic. 6 days later O had a bad reaction and his meds were discounted, per his Dr's orders. d's ears were better but we were told to continue his meds too. We did.

The day we stopped his meds I noticed some unpleasant and then bloody diapers. I was sufficiently freaked out and called the Dr.
Turns out the antibiotics caused him to develop C.Diff, which is a very nasty thing. Also, potentially very serious.
That was the 6 hour ER visit I mentioned a few weeks ago. He was on MORE antibiotics to clear this up for 2 whole weeks. Friday he went off and yesterday the stuff returned.
So, now he's got this nasty stuff again and is on meds for 3 more weeks. I'm terrified that it will return when he goes off again.
I should not have googled C.Diff. It did not ease my mind.

As if that's not bad enough, D has had this weird mystery rash on his arms, fingers and knees for a couple weeks. The Dr couldn't tell him what it was, but thought it was possibly ezcema. We've been treating it as such. It's so weird though, and I'm starting to think our whole family is infested with something strange.
O also has a strange rash, red, raised bumps on his legs and tummy. I'd say carpet burn, but I've never seen carpet burn like this, and he wears clothes so HOW could it get so bad? And all of sudden, the past 2 days, he's bobbing/nodding his head up and down. It seems involuntary and I'm worried now.
He does this numerous times a day and doesn't seem to control it. I'm thinking of calling the ped tomorrow, just to see what they say. I'm very worried about that particular thing, even though it's potentially nothing.

My stress level is through the roof and it doesn't help that we're embarking on rugby season and I did taxes today. My back is hurting so bad from picking up O that I have to lay on a heating pad just to be able to function. I'm not sure how I'll make it to 40 weeks this time.

The straw that broke my weak back is that our dog ran away today. She's been gone for about 7 hours now, and I don't know where she is. Our invisible fence wasn't working today and I forgot and put her outside anyway. I feel absolutely terrible, and it's supposed to be 14 degrees tonight. I hope she comes home, but she's never, ever been gone this long - even when she's gotten out before.
She does have a tag, but with all that's been going on I haven't gotten her a new one yet. It has our old phone number, which is no longer in service. If she doesn't come back tonight I'm going to call the vet and shelter tomorrow and give them our new number so at least we can be reached if someone finds her.

That was probably the whiniest, most incoherent post you'll ever read. I just had to put it all out there somewhere. I've been trudging forward with my head down, one step at a time, but I feel like I'm all worn out.
Good things have got to be around the corner...

In an attempt to show O walking

whoops!

Brother helps...

finally!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I'm finding it very hard to find things to talk about lately. I've been extremely stressed out since we moved and it's just starting to subside. Money worries are at the forefront, along with all the other everyday stuff.

Let's see, d's been working on potty learning and can I just say, I hate it. Hate. It.
I know, we have time and he's not even 3 yet and all that, but in May baby3 is coming and I can't fathom the thought of 3 in diapers.
I'd really rather just have 2 and d is doing OK with it, so we'll see...

O had his 9 month well baby and he's 23lbs 10oz. Damn! It's no wonder my back is killing me!
The Dr thought it was impressive that he's taking steps and cruises like crazy. Not so impressed with his sleeping habits. hehe

Baby3 has no name. This is seriously driving me crazy. Ty? Wes? Trey?
All on our list. Maybe one of them will really grow on me, but I can't find *the* name this time. Help me!

Really, things are going well though. We're broke, but we have a beautiful new house, healthy kids (finally!) and everything in our life is pretty blessed.
I feel guilty complaining when we have so much.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

TCP & Old N*vy

Everything is here! In no particular order:

3 soooooft fleece sweatshirts for all 3 boys for next winter.



Future Mr. Right PJ's for d




jeans and jacket for d for next winter




2 shirts and a one piece - ADORABLE - monkey outfit for O.





Hat for new baby - less than $4!





Coordinating style sweaters in 3 different sizes for next winter. Can't wait!





Dresses and shoes for my neices. I was feeling a little pink deprived.





2 turtle shirts and turtle soft soled shoes for O.





Shoes for me! I also got 3 brown shirts (I'm so original) Ok, one was a sweater, one was a shirt and one was a tank top. All brown. The $9 jeans I was so excited about were, apparently, out of stock. BIG Bummer Old N*vy!





Coming home outfit for the baby!





shirts for d. I got the green one in 2 sizes.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Depressed

I've been having kind of a crappy week and I don't want to talk about it. Here are some pictures instead. That smile can cheer me up everytime.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

TCP

There is nothing I hate more than being gleeful about a sale and waiting impatiently for that email that the order has shipped, only to find that some of the items I ordered are no longer available.
What irritates me about this is that the order ALREADY SHIPPED. So now, if I want to replace an item (which I did want to) I have to order again and pay shipping. AGAIN!
Grr.
I got a box from TCP today and there were 3 shirts missing. One sweater - I'd gotten 3, in 3 different sizes and coordinating colors for all 3 of my boys to wear next winter. I only received 2 of them, which is maddening because I will have 3 boys to wear them! How can they be casually matching if one is missing a sweater?!
Same deal with a cute fleece sweatshirt. 3 ordered, 2 arrived. I was also missing a tee that I'd ordered for d this summer.
When I went back to TCP, I ordered the fleece and sweater in different colors that were still (hopefully) available. Out of spite, I did not order another tee, since it made up the difference in the cost of having the new order shipped out.
I doubt they care, but it's the principle!
When my orders are ALL in, I'll take pics and let you see all the clothes. I'm waiting for 2 boxes from TCP and 1 from Old Navy.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Beautiful Baby

I'm on a message board where they posted about Reg*s and Kel*y's beautiful baby contest and I was finally going to enter today. I agonized and picked two pictures and went to the website only to find - oops! Deadline was yesterday. Oh well.
For your enjoyment:


Friday, January 11, 2008

Money, money, money!

After my succesful shopping spree at TCP on Wednesday I got yet another email from them this morning. I hopped on over and spent another $40 on clothes for O, d and baby boy. I got the cutest little hat for only $3.49! I wish it was here so I could show you all.

Well, after that, I popped over to Old Navy and JACKPOT - big sale!! I got 3 maternity shirts, one marked down from almost $40 to $8.99, and a pair of jeans, marked down from $35 to $8.99!! Woo! I also picked up a pair of cute flats, some clothes for O & shoes, PJ's for d, a coming home outfit & hat for the new baby and 2 dresses and pairs of shoes for my neices. (Hey, a girl's gotta her pink in somehow, right?)
All in all, I've spent about $300 this week on clothes! Yipes. I'm feeling pretty guilty about that, but think of all the use those boy clothes (especially those I bought for d) are going to get!
Still, time to put down the credit card...


Just wait! When everything comes in I'll take pics and wow you with all the cuteness!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Confession time!

Well, my bloggy friends, I'm going to tell you all a little something. When the ultrasound technician looked at me with pity and said, "It looks like another boy." I wanted to burst into tears. But I did not! I smiled and said that yes, it looks pretty obvious and then we left.
However, when I was buckling d into his carseat and he said, "But I wanted it to be a girl!" I burst into tears and sobbed, "Me tooooooo."

*Ahem*

Now, I sobbed for a bit, and felt absolutely ridiculous the entire time. D was a little worried, and felt bad that I was disappointed. d was saying, "You sad Mama?"
O was, well, screaming in his carseat like always.
The truth is very simple and I hope that you can understand. I am thrilled to be pregnant and I am thrilled to be having a very healthy boy. Thrilled!
However, I was totally convinced that it was a girl and I admit that I was feeling like I needed some pink in my life. I love, love, love, ADORE, my boys and I think that goes without saying. I don't want it to seem like I'm ungrateful for what I have, but the thought of never having a daughter is a bit crushing.
D is certain this means I'll agree to that 4th baby he's got his heart set on, but I'm not convinced yet. I need a bit to have this baby and have my body be my own for a little while.
Honestly, he could be right, but in a year or two I may just look around and decide that our life is simply perfect with our flock of little boys. (thanks Misty and Swistle!)

I clearly got over my disappointment because this morning I spent $100 on clothes for all 3 of my little men at TCP. GO! They're having a great sale!!

Monday, January 07, 2008

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Well. That sucked.

I could go into the gory details of our way too busy weekend, but frankly, I'm exhausted.
It was packed with a sick kid with body functions that shouldn't be discussed (ever), a long ass trip to the pediatric ER and a lot of phone conversations to our wonderful pediatrician. Also, some very hard to find meds, which are also probably hard to afford. (which d hates and won't take. Fun!)
Also, there was a trip to bLowe's, which could ruin any weekend, and a deep cleaning - by yours truly - of the old house to get it ready for renters next week. Good times.

There was also a cheesecake bought and mostly eaten. Also by yours truly.
Damn that weigh in tomorrow.








Stay tuned for tomorrow - which is hopefully a much better day. Ultrasound is at 2:40 CST, which probably means more like 5pm, depending on the wait.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Baby!

My sister called yesterday to tell me that she's pregnant! She's due, she thinks, in late August sometime.
They have 2 daughters, 5 and 3, and their youngest is 10 weeks older than Dane. It dawned on me that I will have had 3 babies in the time between their 3 year old and their new baby.
Crazy!

Congrats to them!

Now, I must go because both of my boys are sick. gah!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

a junkie on a fix

That's exactly how I felt 2 hours ago when I got back my Internet connection. Sweet, sweet high.


Now! Where to start. So much to say!! How am I going to organize 2 weeks worth of happenings in one post?! Let's just hit the highlights, shall we?

- O took his first steps yesterday. 3 or 4 in a row! He'll be 9 months on the 13th, so he's still so little! (Well, he's 23 lbs so I guess you can't say little!)

- Christmas in our new house, and the first one ever where we were at home, was awesome!!!

- New house! Awesome! Stressful! I will never move again! Especially not at Christmas! What the hell were we thinking?!

- d suddenly has the attitude of a 16 year old in a 2 year old body. At least he can't drive and I can still pick him up though.

- My parents were here for over a week and while their visit may have been a day or two too long, they were AWESOME. They watched the kids, they packed, they moved, they cooked and played and we went on a date. A date!! I even had a teeny bit of wine. (which may have been a mistake because it was so damn yummy. Now I just want more. *sigh*)

- MONDAY! We'll find out pink or blue on Monday! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

- More jumbled house thoughts:
We love it.
I still swoon every time I walk into the kitchen and see all. those. cabinets.
I still have a million things to unpack in our bedroom, and the garage and the nursery.
I haven't contacted one place to change our address nor have I paid any bills in almost two weeks. (eeps!)
We have probably spent way too much money on stuff for the house. Luckily, our old house is rented so at least we won't have 2 mortgage payments.
I hate moving. I plan to NEVER move again.
A few things have already broken and been repaired, but it's still annoying.
Flat paint. Sucks.
The kids have an entire play room and still have far too many toys.
bLowe's promised us our fridge on Saturday the 21st, yet we didn't get it until Friday night (the 27th). So we lived in the house almost a week with NO refrigerator. They really do blow. (in all fairness, they gave us a good discount, but not till we threatened to buy the damn fridge somewhere else.)

_______________
Forgive me faithful readers, but I haven't read a single blog post in about 2 weeks. I'm afraid to even log into Google Reader, but I'm headed to do that now. (I could be making dinner...) Forgive me for my lack of comments, but I fear that I won't be able to comment on many of the posts till I get caught up. I'll do my best!