The weight of the world

has been lifted off my shoulders.

I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but for the first time in a long time, I feel... like myself again.

I have struggled and struggled with feelings of depression since after O baby was born, I never really got past it before I got pregnant again (after all - he was only 4 months old!) and I spent much of baby C's pregnancy fighting the feelings I was having.
Now, baby C is 6 months old and feel like I just poked my heads out of the clouds. I can see the sun!

Honestly, life hasn't gotten any easier. Yes, we're home again, but there are more stresses than ever, more things to do and places to be and still lots of things that are frustrating and annoying and downright anger inducing.
And yet, I'm OK. I'm coping and doing pretty well. I yell less, I have more patience and even the dog isn't as annoying as she was 3 months ago.

Could it be that my body is finally regulating somehow? I don't know what happened. I haven't taken anything, done anything or tried anything, but something changed. I literally feel like a weight has lifted from me. I know that sounds so... odd... but it's the only way to describe it.

My only regret is that I realize now that I probably was mildly depressed and probably should have done something about it but didn't. I could have felt better long ago. I think I felt like this for SO long that it felt like my new normal. I didn't like it, but I couldn't be sure if it wasn't just "the way life is now." If there's a next time, I'll know better.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

A butterfly!

Thanks to Michelle and Jackie!
I've received 2 butterfly awards! Now, for the rules. (yes, there are always rules...)

1. Put the award up on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.

3. Nominate at least seven other blogs.

4. Add links to these blogs on your blog.

5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

And my nominees are:
(Oh SO hard to only choose 7!)

1 - Swistle

2 - Jess @ Du Wax Loolu

3 - Constance the First

4 - Semi-Desperate Housewife

5 - Mommy Daisy

6 - The Muddled Sage

7 - Slightly Cosmopolitan

Ok, I admit I didn't even check to see if you guys had already been awarded one so if you have, sorry!

Figures.

We had Christmas pictures this morning and after all that fretting about what to wear you can't even SEE it in the pictures. You can see my head, and approximately this * * much of my legs.
Glad I wore the jeans. I even tried to get my cute shoes in the picture, but they were cropped out.
Oh well.

In other news, something big happened yesterday.

That's right, d had his first day of preschool! It was big to me, but apparently, to him it was NO BIG THANG. He waved goodbye and didn't ask about me again until 12:45, when he informed his teacher he was ready to go home. School is over at 1, so that was good timing on his part.


I'm so glad he loved it and didn't cry or get upset. I just can't believe my first baby is old enough to be going to preschool. I had nervous tummy all day.

It was one of those times that I wish time would slow down just a little.

Fashion/Hair/Paint

Some updates & pictures!

Fashion post - Thanks for all your help!! I've decided that the skirt looks better but I'll probably wear jeans for 2 reasons.

1) Several of you pointed out that I should consider how we'll be posed and in years past we've been on the floor. Jeans will be better for that, and either way you probably won't see much of my legs. (Because of children piled on top of them.)

2) The boys & husband will all be wearing jeans so it will look more cohesive that way.

I'm also wearing that outfit for Baby C's baptism next Saturday though, and in that case, I will wear the skirt. So, win win. Thank you all so much for the tips and advice!!!
PS - I wanted red shoes for this outfit but couldn't find any I like so I got the black ones pictured instead. I actually got them at Wal-Mart for $17.00. Surprising, I know!
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I got a hair cut yesterday! I haven't had it cut since Baby C was 2 weeks old and he turns 6 MONTHS (really!!) old on Monday. I only got it trimmed a bit, the big thing was getting it thinned. I have super duper, crazy thick hair. I was waiting on O's prescription (have I mentioned all 3 kids had croup this week?) and went into the little drop in place next door. It was fast and cheap, but I probably won't go back. Hair cuts should not be that unpleasant. Ouch. I do think it looks decent though. It actually doesn't look all that different than my hair ever looks, but it's so much thinner! When she got done thinning it there was a pile of hair on the floor bigger and taller than my cat. And I really am NOT exaggerating. She couldn't get over how much hair I had and kept going - "you have LOT of hair! Do you get headaches?!"

heh

Before - It had gotten so thick and heavy that a lot of the natural curl was gone. I had to resort to wearing it pulled back almost all the time.

After

From the side.

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Paint post - here are some pictures of my living room and dining room so you can make suggestions. (Pardon the mess.) We still haven't decided anything other than we want some shade of deep-ish red in the living room. O has colored on our bathroom walls recently so we'll probably also paint those. *sigh*

Dining room from corner by window.

Dining room from kitchen doorway. It occurs to me that maybe we need furniture before we worry about painting. In any case, we're considering a white chair rail, and then a green to match one of the lighter greens in the rug on the bottom and leaving the top the same color it is now.

Entryway. This needs to be some color that meshes with both the living and dining room (to the right in the pic) OR we could leave it. ??

Living room from kitchen doorway. (In next picture.)

Living room from corner as seen in previous picture. There is an identical doorway into the kitchen just on the other side of that TV. This is a very large room, so I'm not worried about a dark color making it seem small.

Bathroom counter top. More brown and tan. What a shock!

Wall that has been colored on twice now. The blue streaks are much more apparent in person, unfortunately. We could tile the wall around the tub instead, but that's more work and more expensive - though it might look better...

Saturday update over.

ACK

Slightly insecure obsessive fashion HELP post. You'll just have to forgive the pictures that are fuzzy. Damn camera isn't working well on the timer.

Christmas pictures are on Wednesday. I'm so flustered about what to wear that I'm considering making the pictures "kids only" but we always get a family picture at this time of year, and only once a year and it feels childish to sit it out because I'm pouting over the way I look. *sigh* This is the heaviest I ever been, non-pregnant, and the weight is just NOT coming off. However, that's another post for another day. Right now, I need fashion help!

Now, please, I'm begging you to be HONEST but KIND because my fragile ego can't take too harsh of criticism. K?

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This is the top I picked. (I know, bad picture...) It's grey and black-ish with a red cami underneath. I was planning to wear it with my plain black skirt but when I tried it on I wasn't sure.
There are several issues here.

1) Do I wear the shirt at all or start over?

2) Do I wear it all the way buttoned or just one button buttoned?


3) Do I wear it with jeans or a skirt? And THIS skirt or does it look... funny?

4) IF I wear it with jeans, can I still wear my new shoes or do I have to wear something else? (The jeans are boot cut)

More Crafty!

Apparently, I've been taken over by some sort of crafty-sewing bug. I decided to make my nieces some pillowcase dresses for their birthdays!
Pattern here!

I didn't take any pictures of the pillowcases before I started, but here they are after the arms, neck and ties are sewn.
That bottle of wine in the background has nothing to do with my not remembering to take pictures. *ahem*

Then I sewed on the pink ribbon at the bottom.



Some cute, flowery buttons for the top.



Finished!


One for each niece!

These were surprisingly easy. If I had a little girl, I'd be making these all the time!

Project cost:
~ $17.00 for both dresses ($8.50 apiece) and I had some ribbon and elastic left over.

I'd say it would have taken about 2-3 hours if I had sat down and worked on them from start to finish. Since it was my first time, it took longer. I bet I could do it in half the time next time.

Look at me! I'm crafty!

I made a craft!! Woo hoo!! These I-Spy bags are great for long car rides, or plane trips. I made them in preparation for our trip to Texas next week. Or to keep my mind off it, one or the other.


Here's the pattern! Even better, they cost me almost nothing and I had almost everything to make them just sitting around the house!

First, you'll need some material. You can make the bag as big or small as you like. Mine aren't very big. Remember you have to fill them with rice or polyfill or something. The green one is the edge of an old pillowcase, so that made it even easier for me. Recycling and less sewing!

Cut them to the desired size. (these are folded in half.)

Cut out center for window of I-Spy bag. Cut a small slit in each corner of the window to fold under when you sew.

Then you'll need some vinyl. I just cut up an old bedspread bag. More recycling!

Cut the vinyl bigger than the window, to make it easier to sew. Fold over material and pin away from the edge. You don't want too many holes in the vinyl.

Sew it, then trim the excess vinyl and sew up the rest of the pillow, leaving a small space to fill it. Turn inside right.

You'll need rice (or polyfill) to fill up the bag. I didn't actually fill mine, rice is heavy! I put in about one large bag of rice in each I-Spy pillow.
I also used some teeny alphabet pasta in d's - so he can see letters instead of just the rice.

You'll also need things to put inside the bags. Most of this was stuff I found around the house. The only thing I bought were the buttons in shapes of cars, trains and rockets. There were 12 in a bag for less than $3.

Fill them up, sew up the hole and top-stitch around the whole pillow. You're done!

They're a hit!

Random Saturday

Phew! What a week! I've been so busy, I couldn't even bring myself to sit and blog.

1) I enrolled d in preschool. It took some calling to find a place with an opening, but we found one and visited. He is VERY excited. I'm excited too, but when I saw him put on that little backpack I bought... Well. That was like seeing the last 3 years and 8 months flash before my eyes. I'm going to be a mess the day he actually STARTS. We will both get used to it and survive and thrive and all that, but geez. He's starting SCHOOL. (kind of)


2) THE ELECTION IS OVER. Thank goodness. I'm not going to discuss it anymore. I will say, though, that I'm very saddened by the propositions discriminating against gay people across our country. I have hope for the future though.


3) Halloween was a blast! Too much candy was bought, got and eaten. Ugh.



4) We went to the pumpkin patch after Halloween this year. Backwards, I know. It was the only time we could fit it in though. A good time was had by all.



5) My tiny, newborn, newest baby boy is trying his darnedest to grow up. Why do kids always do that?



He's not crawling yet, but it's only a matter of time now. I swear that the first year goes by so fast that it's just a blur! I mean, Baby C will be 6 MONTHS old on the 17th. That's crazy!


6) The last week has been a whirlwind of play dates, shopping trips, appointments and chores. I feel like I've never been so busy! Now, d will be going to preschool 2 days a week from 9-1 and we have music class on Fridays @ 10 for all 3. On top of that, the week before Thanksgiving, we're going to Texas and getting Baby C baptised. Thankfully, we found cheap flights, so we don't have to drive!! I don't think we'll be traveling for Christmas this year. I'm already sick of traveling and we haven't even made our next trip yet.


7) Remember my friend, T? The one who was in the delivery room with me for Baby C's birth? She makes tutus. Unfortunately for me, I do not have daughters. Fortunately for me, I DO have 3 girly-girl nieces! LOOK at these!!!!!

My only regret with this picture is that I do not have a suitable model. They are seriously cute, but my boys ran for the hills when I showed them. *sigh*


8) I took Penny & Tiger to the vet yesterday. Tiger is in perfect health. Penny is healthy too, however she gained 10 lbs in the 3 months we were gone! The vet said that was a little "excessive" for a dog. So, Penny is on a diet. He also wanted us to have her teeth cleaned, which they have recommended the last 3 years running. We have yet to comply. I think we're pretty good pet owners, but it's expensive! She has to be put under and when it's all said and done it's several hundred dollars! For a teeth cleaning! For a dog!
I could (and according to the vet, should) brush her teeth, but who are we kidding? Some days I can't even remember if I've brushed my OWN teeth. I already have 4 mouths I'm responsible for brushing/keeping clean and I will not be adding another. I mean, animals don't really need their teeth brushed, do they?

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