Oh, 2008, what a year it's been! It's been good knowing you through the highs and the lows.
We had some good times. Baby C was born and that was surely the crown jewel in the tiara that is 2008. I also got a new niece, and the country got a new president. This election will be written about in the history books and November 4th was a happy day for me indeed. I can't discount the everyday blessings either. D's continued success at a stable job is especially a blessing during these difficult economic times. A home I love, good friends and only moderately crazy family are all blessings to be counted.
Ah, but we had bad times too. The depression that I couldn't seem to shake until the years end neared. The traveling horrors. The 3 months in a far away state that nearly did me in. Lastly, the losses. So many losses. While I didn't personally lose anyone close to me this year, it hurts my heart to count up all that friends and family have lost. Whether it was a soul waiting to be born or an old soul ready to move on, the loss of what could have been, or the loss of what was; it was tragic. Too much loss and heartbreak. I hope the new year brings peace to those who suffered this year.
There have been highs and lows my friend, but I welcome 2009. Bring it on!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
To V or Not to V.
That is the question.
How do people ever know when they're done having kids? This has been on my mind more than Christmas cookies lately. Baby C is 7 months old, O Baby is 20 months and d is 3y9m so we have time to decide, but I can't stop thinking about it.
When C was born, we talked about re-evaluating our feelings and situation when he turned one. Things are going very well lately, but many days - even good days - I feel satisfied with the number of kids we have. (On bad days you couldn't convince me to have more!)
Here's the thing; I feel like having more babies would be tempting fate. Like, getting greedy or something. We have so much already!!
We're not rich by any means, but we have 3 beautiful, healthy, smart, cute, wonderful kids. We have a blessed life. Our kids have more toys than they need, they have their own rooms, they have pets, and enough food to eat and far more cool stuff to do than I had when I was a kid. By worldly standards, we have more than a large portion of people do. On top of that, I've had easy(-ish) pregnancies, and no complications. I guess it's a "quit while you're ahead" type of feeling.
Plus, I think of the future and the sports, extra curricular activities, clothes, "toys," college, etc and wonder if we can really, truly afford to have more kids. I'm sure we could make it work with some sacrifice but I'm not sure how much I really want to sacrifice.
But are we ready to make it permanent?
NO more babies? NO more pregnancies? NO more nursing, rocking, first teeth, first crawls, first foods?
There are oh-so-many wonderful things about having more babies. I'm quite sure that I'd never regret any baby we were blessed with. But the drive is gone, or at least greatly diminished.
I have a strong urge to get on to the next stage of life. A stage where I'm not hugely pregnant or nursing or lending my body for a little humans' use. A stage where everyone can walk and talk and wipe their own behind.
I think the current economic situation of our country has a part in that too. I am not entirely sure that I want to bring another baby into the world right now. (But I'm not entirely NOT sure either.)
So, D is 70/30 on wanting more kids (or just not wanting the big V, haha) and I'm 60/40 on not wanting more kids. I know this isn't urgent, we can wait and decide this later. But I'm a planner by nature and I like to have planned, in my head, whether or not we will be going down this road again.
There are so many people who ask if we're going to try for a girl, and for a long time I was certain I wouldn't feel complete without a daughter. Now I'm not certain of that. I do have nieces, and while I'm sad that I might not ever have that mother/daughter relationship I think it's a dream I could reasonably let go of. (as if I had a choice!)
I'm not sure I could take the disappointed comments if we got pregnant with a 4th boy either! That was brutal last time, especially because I was initially sad that #3 wasn't a girl. It was enough to make my eyes well up with tears every time someone was sorry for us that it was a boy AGAIN. Now I can't imagine little C being a girl, he's such a sweet, wonderful little boy and I'm so glad for my 3 little men. I have high hopes that they'll be good friends down the road, as they are now.
When we got married and started discussing having children, I was adamant that we would have 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls. Clearly this was when I still believed that wishes = reality! Part of that dream is dead now since 4 is my absolute upper limit on children, unless we get twins, so we can, obviously, not have 2 girls.
(As an aside - D works with several people who have 12+ kids!! And homeschool! And grow their own wheat to bake their own bread and obviously are way better at this than I am. -I wish I was kidding!-)
Then again, it's been a long and pregnant couple of years. Perhaps when Baby C starts looking toddler-ish I'll feel my uterus cry out again! For the time being, I just can't get over how unsure I am. After d and O baby were born, I was immediately sure that I wasn't done having kids. By immediately I mean IN the delivery room I looked at my husband and said, "We have got to do this again!" (Could that be why he doesn't think L&D is "that bad?" )
How do people ever know when they're done having kids? This has been on my mind more than Christmas cookies lately. Baby C is 7 months old, O Baby is 20 months and d is 3y9m so we have time to decide, but I can't stop thinking about it.
When C was born, we talked about re-evaluating our feelings and situation when he turned one. Things are going very well lately, but many days - even good days - I feel satisfied with the number of kids we have. (On bad days you couldn't convince me to have more!)
Here's the thing; I feel like having more babies would be tempting fate. Like, getting greedy or something. We have so much already!!
We're not rich by any means, but we have 3 beautiful, healthy, smart, cute, wonderful kids. We have a blessed life. Our kids have more toys than they need, they have their own rooms, they have pets, and enough food to eat and far more cool stuff to do than I had when I was a kid. By worldly standards, we have more than a large portion of people do. On top of that, I've had easy(-ish) pregnancies, and no complications. I guess it's a "quit while you're ahead" type of feeling.
Plus, I think of the future and the sports, extra curricular activities, clothes, "toys," college, etc and wonder if we can really, truly afford to have more kids. I'm sure we could make it work with some sacrifice but I'm not sure how much I really want to sacrifice.
But are we ready to make it permanent?
NO more babies? NO more pregnancies? NO more nursing, rocking, first teeth, first crawls, first foods?
There are oh-so-many wonderful things about having more babies. I'm quite sure that I'd never regret any baby we were blessed with. But the drive is gone, or at least greatly diminished.
I have a strong urge to get on to the next stage of life. A stage where I'm not hugely pregnant or nursing or lending my body for a little humans' use. A stage where everyone can walk and talk and wipe their own behind.
I think the current economic situation of our country has a part in that too. I am not entirely sure that I want to bring another baby into the world right now. (But I'm not entirely NOT sure either.)
So, D is 70/30 on wanting more kids (or just not wanting the big V, haha) and I'm 60/40 on not wanting more kids. I know this isn't urgent, we can wait and decide this later. But I'm a planner by nature and I like to have planned, in my head, whether or not we will be going down this road again.
There are so many people who ask if we're going to try for a girl, and for a long time I was certain I wouldn't feel complete without a daughter. Now I'm not certain of that. I do have nieces, and while I'm sad that I might not ever have that mother/daughter relationship I think it's a dream I could reasonably let go of. (as if I had a choice!)
I'm not sure I could take the disappointed comments if we got pregnant with a 4th boy either! That was brutal last time, especially because I was initially sad that #3 wasn't a girl. It was enough to make my eyes well up with tears every time someone was sorry for us that it was a boy AGAIN. Now I can't imagine little C being a girl, he's such a sweet, wonderful little boy and I'm so glad for my 3 little men. I have high hopes that they'll be good friends down the road, as they are now.
When we got married and started discussing having children, I was adamant that we would have 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls. Clearly this was when I still believed that wishes = reality! Part of that dream is dead now since 4 is my absolute upper limit on children, unless we get twins, so we can, obviously, not have 2 girls.
(As an aside - D works with several people who have 12+ kids!! And homeschool! And grow their own wheat to bake their own bread and obviously are way better at this than I am. -I wish I was kidding!-)
Then again, it's been a long and pregnant couple of years. Perhaps when Baby C starts looking toddler-ish I'll feel my uterus cry out again! For the time being, I just can't get over how unsure I am. After d and O baby were born, I was immediately sure that I wasn't done having kids. By immediately I mean IN the delivery room I looked at my husband and said, "We have got to do this again!" (Could that be why he doesn't think L&D is "that bad?" )
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The. Best. Cookies. EVER
Andes Creme de Menthe Chunk Cookies
1/2 cup butter - softened (I may have used about a TBSP less)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 pkg Andes Creme de Menthe chips
2 2/3 cups all purpose flour (I used 2 cups)
Blend first 7 ingredients together. Stir in baking chips, then flour. Bake on greased cookie sheet on middle rack for 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees.
Warning - Do NOT taste the cookie dough. (Not because of the raw eggs, but because you will not be able to stop eating it. Yum!)
Makes about 3 dozen cookies using the Pampered Chef medium size scoop.
I'm sending 3/4 of these cookies with D to work tomorrow. They are THAT good.
PS- this recipe is on the bag, but they have rather fussy directions and I didn't follow all their "chill for an hour, measure a 1 oz portion" stuff.
1/2 cup butter - softened (I may have used about a TBSP less)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 pkg Andes Creme de Menthe chips
2 2/3 cups all purpose flour (I used 2 cups)
Blend first 7 ingredients together. Stir in baking chips, then flour. Bake on greased cookie sheet on middle rack for 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees.
Warning - Do NOT taste the cookie dough. (Not because of the raw eggs, but because you will not be able to stop eating it. Yum!)
Makes about 3 dozen cookies using the Pampered Chef medium size scoop.
I'm sending 3/4 of these cookies with D to work tomorrow. They are THAT good.
PS- this recipe is on the bag, but they have rather fussy directions and I didn't follow all their "chill for an hour, measure a 1 oz portion" stuff.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tis the season
This time of year it always occurs to me just how blessed I am. This year is even better than most from recent memory - and I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I have truly not been this happy in years. I'm busy, but I'm less stressed than normal. Things still bother me, but not so much that I feel the need to freak out or break down or drink a bottle of wine with a box of chocolate. (Now I just have one glass and 2 truffles. haha.) There actually are things that are going wrong, yet I'm just appropriately upset. 2 months ago I would have been stressed beyond measure.
Right now, I just feel blessed. I have a lovely home, more possessions than anyone really needs, 2 paid for cars, 3 sweet, healthy kids and a loving husband with a stable job. My kids will have a Christmas and we can afford to help others who are less fortunate. What else is there, really?
There are a couple of things I can attribute to my happiness right now. First of all, I really AM blessed - which is reason enough to be happy.
Secondly, I realize that my body has finally regulated somehow and the fog that's been over me since O was born has lifted. I didn't realize how thick the fog was until it was gone.
Lastly, for the first time in my life, I've learned how to say no. As a people pleaser, this is a big deal for me. We said NO to traveling for Christmas and too many gifts and things that stress me out. I say yes to the things that are obligations, and to things that I want to do and enjoy. I never knew what a difference this would make. It took me 27 years to realize that saying NO is OK. It's freeing.
Now, I'm going to say yes to a Christmas cookie.
Right now, I just feel blessed. I have a lovely home, more possessions than anyone really needs, 2 paid for cars, 3 sweet, healthy kids and a loving husband with a stable job. My kids will have a Christmas and we can afford to help others who are less fortunate. What else is there, really?
There are a couple of things I can attribute to my happiness right now. First of all, I really AM blessed - which is reason enough to be happy.
Secondly, I realize that my body has finally regulated somehow and the fog that's been over me since O was born has lifted. I didn't realize how thick the fog was until it was gone.
Lastly, for the first time in my life, I've learned how to say no. As a people pleaser, this is a big deal for me. We said NO to traveling for Christmas and too many gifts and things that stress me out. I say yes to the things that are obligations, and to things that I want to do and enjoy. I never knew what a difference this would make. It took me 27 years to realize that saying NO is OK. It's freeing.
Now, I'm going to say yes to a Christmas cookie.
Monday, December 08, 2008
whoopsie
I guess I've been gone awhile. I didn't realize I hadn't posted since November! Time is really slipping by these days! How about a list to catch things up?
1 - d's in preschool and loving it. However it takes me 20-25 minutes to get there so by the time I drop him off, sign him in and take the other 2 boys home, it's taken about an hour. Same thing when I pick him up. That's a bummer for me, but he really does love it.
2 - I'm learning how to make homemade bread and jam with some failures and lately, more successes. For some reason, I am a bread dunce. It's always been hard for me to figure out how to get it to come out right, but I made a yummy loaf last night. Yay me!
We're using it for D's lunch sandwich bread and I'm planning to make some for Christmas gifts. Fresh, homemade bread wrapped in a pretty red dishtowel and homemade jam in jeweled jars. Seems like a good gift to me!
3 - I made a huge batch of chocolate covered peanut butter crackers last night for gifts too. They're so simple, just a little time consuming. I made enough to make 6 batches of 1 dozen each. There were 3 left over for me and D too.
Saltines or Ritz crackers (I used half and half)
peanut butter (I used the all natural kind, but regular works fine too)
white almond bark
chocolate almond bark
Assemble the cracker "sandwiches" while the chocolate (I did white first, then chocolate) melts on the stove top. When it's fully melted, dip and cover. Then let them dry/harden on wax paper. They're yummy and make good gifts, although they aren't perfectly attractive.
I find the saltines are easier for dipping but harder for peanut butter spreading, just as a hint.
4 - Last, but not least, we got a puppy! Yes, I may have gone slightly crazy. Ah, but she's so cute and the kids adore her. d plays with her all the time, but I just happened to catch this cute video of O dancing and playing music for Lucy.
Untitled from Devan on Vimeo.
So, that's about it. Just keeping busy with getting ready for the holidays, preschool, playgroups, our house, bills, rental house, charity, rugby, trying to lose weight and all the other, everyday 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat and a husband type stuff.
1 - d's in preschool and loving it. However it takes me 20-25 minutes to get there so by the time I drop him off, sign him in and take the other 2 boys home, it's taken about an hour. Same thing when I pick him up. That's a bummer for me, but he really does love it.
2 - I'm learning how to make homemade bread and jam with some failures and lately, more successes. For some reason, I am a bread dunce. It's always been hard for me to figure out how to get it to come out right, but I made a yummy loaf last night. Yay me!
We're using it for D's lunch sandwich bread and I'm planning to make some for Christmas gifts. Fresh, homemade bread wrapped in a pretty red dishtowel and homemade jam in jeweled jars. Seems like a good gift to me!
3 - I made a huge batch of chocolate covered peanut butter crackers last night for gifts too. They're so simple, just a little time consuming. I made enough to make 6 batches of 1 dozen each. There were 3 left over for me and D too.
Saltines or Ritz crackers (I used half and half)
peanut butter (I used the all natural kind, but regular works fine too)
white almond bark
chocolate almond bark
Assemble the cracker "sandwiches" while the chocolate (I did white first, then chocolate) melts on the stove top. When it's fully melted, dip and cover. Then let them dry/harden on wax paper. They're yummy and make good gifts, although they aren't perfectly attractive.
I find the saltines are easier for dipping but harder for peanut butter spreading, just as a hint.
4 - Last, but not least, we got a puppy! Yes, I may have gone slightly crazy. Ah, but she's so cute and the kids adore her. d plays with her all the time, but I just happened to catch this cute video of O dancing and playing music for Lucy.
Untitled from Devan on Vimeo.
So, that's about it. Just keeping busy with getting ready for the holidays, preschool, playgroups, our house, bills, rental house, charity, rugby, trying to lose weight and all the other, everyday 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat and a husband type stuff.
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