My Word

Self 

1. The total, essential, or particular being of a person; the individual.
2. One's consciousness of one's own being or identity; the ego. 

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I decided to pick not only a word for the year, but also a few resolutions revolving around that word. Self seems like a... well, selfish, word to pick. It's not, if you think about it. You have to take care of yourself and that is not a selfish thing to do. If you take care of yourself, you have more to give to others. 

That is what my resolutions are about this year. Learning about myself, taking care of myself and bettering myself. I'm only picking two resolutions as well, because they are rather big ones and I want to be successful.

1 - Take care of myself physically. Eat better, exercise, and lose weight. I successfully lost weight last year, and also successfully gained quite a bit back, in the last few months. I am not dieting, per se, but I need to explore why I turn to food when I am sad, stressed, depressed or have a hard day. I need to find ways to change that. I also need to lose weight and feel better.

2 - Take care of myself emotionally and spiritually.  Learn how to say no. Learn what I need and ask for it. Ask for help if I need it. Get back to church, to praying, and lastly; put a little more faith in my life.

I'd love to hear your words for the year, or your resolutions.

I tried not to sound lame & cheesy...

but it didn't really happen.

I stole this from Jess, and probably about a million other people.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Walked out of a restaurant after really bad service.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Here are the resolutions. I kept some: 3 & 4, and part of 5. Not so much on 1 & 2. Guess what's going to be showing up on my list again this year?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. I can't remember a year in the past 6 or so where I haven't known someone who gave birth!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandmother died in August.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
I honestly can't think of much besides maybe having my husband home more.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't have much of a memory for dates any more, so I can just remember the events and not the dates.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not going insane? haha
2010 was hard for me. D worked a lot, and we were still adjusting to having 4 small kids instead of 3. Miss L has had a lot of doctor's appointments, and some stress related to that, and there was unrelated stress in my life that led to me making some changes.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Weight loss. I managed to lose quite a bit of weight, and then promptly gained it all back. *sigh* I blame stress and a bit of depression, and my general attitude of "screw it."

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. Mama can't go down or the whole ship will sink!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
An airplane ticket to send D to see his dad's ordination was very important to him. We bought a new couch and recliner yesterday, so that is the thing most fresh on my mind.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My parents. They have come down to see us 3 or 4 times, and each time they watch the kids so we can go out, and they don't complain about how far it is. I'm so blessed that they are completely invested in maintaining a relationship with our kids. It's so hard with family so far away!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A lot of people. I have called this my growing up year because I feel like I've seen the true colors of a lot of the people in my life and will no longer be so naive.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage and groceries. True story.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Miss L's hemangioma resolving is the first thing that came to mind. Although she has some lingering side effects from the steroids, her eye and eyesight are perfect.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I know this will sound lame, but I always think of the song, "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins when things get hard.
"Sweet Sweet Baby" by Michelle Featherstone will always hold a special place in my heart; as I used to sing it to Miss L while rocking and nursing.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
a) I'm a little sadder, but not SAD. I guess growing up isn't always what it's cracked up to be.
b) Pretty much the same, maybe a little thinner, which is sad since this time last year I had a 3 week old baby.
c) Richer, since D gets a small raise yearly, and he worked a ton of overtime.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Rocking.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing about Miss L's condition, medicine and doctor's appointments. Worry less about what other people thought of me.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with my 4 VERY excited children, my husband, 2 cats, the dog, and a surprising amount of snow. It was really very nice.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Yes. I always feel a rush of love when I have a baby, but I fell deeply and madly in love with Miss L as this year progressed. I also fall deeper in love with my husband every year. I think it just comes from sharing joys, disappointments and life in general.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Parenthood, The Middle or Modern Family

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word, but there are certainly some people I strongly dislike.

24. What was the best book you read?
Baby Proofing Your Marriage

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Uh...

26. What did you want and get?
A completed family. To stay home for Christmas.

27. What did you want and not get?
Something shallow - to replace our carpet with wood floors. Probably this year...

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I loved Toy Story 3, and we just saw From Paris With Love, and I really liked it, even though it's not my typical type of movie.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29. My last year in the 20's! We got Gigi's cupcakes (no cooking for me!) and just had a generally nice day, all around.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A partner who was around a little bit more to share it with. It would be easier on him, on the kids and on me.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Exploration. I just don't know what my personal fashion concept is, outside of the maternity clothes that have dominated the last 6 or so years. I tried new things.

32. What kept you sane?
My husband, my friends - especially Tracy - and my mom.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
meh

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage.

35. Who did you miss?
My parents. Other family who is SO far away, and especially my nieces and nephew. I would give almost anything to be up front and center in their lives.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
There is one in particular, in my mom's group, who is not really NEW, but I got to know her a lot better this year and have greatly enjoyed her company.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Let it go. Keep your mouth shut and LET IT GO.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
The song "Alright" by Darius Rucker is a great one. These parts really speak to me: 


Don't need no five star reservations
I've got spaghetti and a cheap bottle of wine
Don't need no concert in the city
I've got a stereo and the best of Patsy Cline
Ain't got no caviar no Dom Perignon
But as far as I can see, I've got everything I want


...


It may be a simple life, but that's okay
If you ask me baby, I think I've got it made

...

It's alright by me, yeah yeah
When I lay down at night I thank the Lord above
For giving me everything I ever could dream of

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Our Christmas started at 5:30, with a crash, as our oldest child climbed the bookshelf to get to his stocking. He managed to break a chair leg off the new table/chair set from Santa and knock a shelf off the bookshelf. Thank goodness those things are bolted to the wall!
I was mad, and sleep deprived, since the baby had been up half the night. However, I couldn't stay too mad; he was just so excited!

The kids loved all their gifts, and we had cinnamon rolls and stocking candy for breakfast. Can we say sugar high?

However, the highlight was SNOW! 3 or so inches, even!! Now... for those of you with snow on a regular basis, you won't think 3 inches is much at all. For those of us who live way down south, though, this is a LOT of snow. (Probably more than we've seen in the six years we've lived here.)

O looooved the snow. Last year he hated it.

I don't know what this stuff is, but I look cute in it!

Not a big fan. He walked around in it, but he was SO not into it.

d loved making a snow man with D, but he ran out of steam after 20 or so minutes. Our blood: it is thin.

D stuck with it and finished that snowman. (While I was inside undressing 4 sopping wet, crying, cold, hungry, children. Who got the better deal in that one?)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

blech

So... for 10 days there has been at least one person in our house with the stomach bug. Just when someone would start to get better, someone else would get it.

Dear Illness,
Suck it.
Love,
Hate You

Dear Steroids,
I hate that you make my baby unable to sleep, and irritable. I love that you keep her from getting even more ill. This was your fault to begin with, so I can't decide if I love you or hate you.
Love,
Undecided

Dear House,
I'm a little sick of looking at the inside of your walls right now.
Love,
Getme Outtahere

Dear Me,
Stop watching Baby Story already.
Love,
Hormones

The One Where I Talk About God.

Tonight, at the dinner table, the two older boys were asking us a LOT of questions about Jesus, God, Christmas, creation and all sorts of things. Christmas is coming, and our Advent calendar is a religious one. Each door you open tells a small part of the story and has one piece of a nativity scene, with Baby Jesus being the final piece. I'm sure that is, in part, what brought on so many questions. Plus, the two younger boys go to a church for their preschool and they sing religious songs and such. Jesus and God, and Christianity in general, are always around the edges of our life, entering the conversation sporadically. It usually leaves me stumbling through explanations. It's hard to explain big things like God to little kids; especially when you are unsure of all the details of what you, yourself, believe. For instance, it's hard to even think of a simplified way to talk about evolution in conjunction with Adam & Eve. (We believe in evolution put in motion by God.)

There's nothing like trying to teach your kids your beliefs to make you figure out what, exactly, your beliefs are.

Did you read that line up there that said "always around the edges of our life?" I think that's the problem. The things we push to the edge should be the things that are least important. Mopping, for instance.

God? He does not belong on the edges. He should be in the center.

I can't help but feel like I've failed somewhat. Yes, my children know about God, but they don't know him. *I* don't know him anymore.
I fall in bed at night and am asleep before praying enters my mind. We haven't been to church in months. In fact, the last Mass I went to was my grandmother's funeral in August.
We pray before dinner, but it's habit, and I don't even have to think as the words of that familiar Catholic prayer come out.  D prays with the boys before bed. I didn't even realize he was doing this until a few months ago when I put them to bed myself (he does story/bed when he's home) and they asked me to pray with them. Hearing their sweet little voices thanking God for a good day almost brought me to my knees.

I've had a desire to get back to church, and closer to God, for a long time. I do believe it's shown up on my last two New Year's resolution posts, in fact. Two years and I'm no closer. What am I waiting for?

“You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

Things I'm loving...

1 - Christmas Crack. Have you guys tried this stuff? Oh. My.

Here's the recipe:
1 sleeve of saltine crackers
2 sticks of butter
1 cup of brown sugar
12oz bag of chocolate chips

yes, I used whole grain crackers even though I was pouring 2 sticks of butter, brown sugar and chocolate chips on top.

Lay the saltines out on a cookie sheet. (*Use one with high sides!!) Melt together the butter and sugar, stirring constantly for 3 minutes. Pour the hot sugar/butter mixture on top.

Bake at 425 for 5 minutes. Take it out of the oven and sprinkle the chocolate chips on top.

Let it sit for a minute or two and then spread the chocolate around. I sprinkle holiday themed sprinkles on it after spreading the chocolate, but it's optional.

Put it in the refrigerator to harden and then break it up into chunks.

2 - My new Hoover FloorMate. It was an early Christmas present since my 2nd Shark in as many years broke. This thing is AWESOME. It does it ALL for hard floors! It vacuums, it mops, it dries! My kitchen floor is cleaner than it's been in a long time. Since we are planning to put down hard floors in our living room and dining room very soon, I think my new Hoover will be invaluable! (And, no, I'm not being paid to say this.)

Ew. The first mopping in at least 2 weeks. It was vacuumed (twice) before the mopping.

3 - Finished to-do lists. Everything for Christmas is DONE. Cards sent, presents bought, wrapped, tagged and under the tree. Now it's up to Santa to do the rest, and I'm quite sure he's prepared.

4 - Staying home. I am feeling really grateful that we decided not to travel for Christmas. C got a stomach virus on Monday, and by Friday Miss L had come down with it too. For the rest of us, it's awful. For Miss L, it's awful and she has to have steroids. Being that it took no less than 9 phone conversations to get her meds on a Saturday; I am really glad we won't have to deal with it while on the Interstate or visiting family. Plus, the steroids further lower her immune system so traveling seems like an even worse idea. So, that sounded negative but I'm making it positive. We're staying home! YAY!

5 - DVR. I don't think there is a better invention.

Gold stars

If you've ever read the Five Love Languages book, you will know what I'm talking about when I say that one of my two primary love languages is "words of affirmation." (The other is gifts.)
The problem with needing words of affirmation is that when I do NOT get the words/gestures I seek, I feel unappreciated and hurt. If that happens enough, I get frustrated and feel chronically unappreciated. That can eventually lead to feeling bitter and resentful, and that is not a good way to feel.

I'm trying to learn to deal with my hurt so that it doesn't turn into resentment. (Going around telling people off doesn't seem to be a good option.)

I realize that feeling unappreciated doesn't mean I am unappreciated, but it's hard to just tell myself that and move on. I guess I hold a grudge. My mom says that I'm just growing up, and losing my rose colored glasses. D says I'm just getting tired of being nice, but... I don't want to be annoyed all the time. I want to deal with being unappreciated in a way that doesn't leave me bitter, and also doesn't leave my sh*t list with a growing number of occupants. 

Do you need gold stars? How do you deal when you don't get them?

The Good, The Bad, and The Vomit

Our plan, as of a few days ago, was to drive 500ish miles to see my family the day after Christmas. Then, 2 or 3 days later we would drive 700ish miles to D's family and THEN 3 or so days after that, we would drive 1000ish miles home. Doesn't that sound crazy FUN?!

That is no longer our plan. That's the good part of the news (although I am disappointed we won't see family, the drive was going to be torturous). The bad news is the reason we canceled the trip. L had her *cortisol levels re-drawn on Friday morning and Friday evening the pediatrician called us with unexpected news. Instead of her level going up to normal (it had been 6.4 and 8 is the lowest normal value) it had gone down to 5.3. He was surprised, and so were we.
Right now, I'm not sure what's next. We will hear more later this week.
We canceled the travel because he said that if she gets ill (not just a cold, but fever, vomiting, etc) while we are traveling, that she needs to be seen at a Pediatric ER fairly immediately and if we were confident in the care she would receive than he was fine with us going.
My family and my inlaws live in rural areas. No Pediatric ER closer than about an hour, and that doesn't even take the 4 days of driving into consideration. It would be next to impossible to feel confident in the care she would receive in a situation with so many unknowns. Plus, my anxiety would be through the roof, I'm sure.
So, D & I agreed that it's not in her best interest.

(*Cortisol is a stress hormone. Hers was initially low because of the long term steroids she was on for her hemangioma, although she has been off steroids since the week before Easter. Her immune system is compromised because of this.)  


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I got completely drunk off 4 (or 6?) glasses of wine on Saturday at D's rugby party. I can't remember the last time I had more than one or maybe 2 glasses, plus, I'd barely eaten all day since I was "saving up."
I danced like a fool on the dance floor and probably embarrassed myself. My ribs and hips are sore today and I finally figured out it was from the dancing. I wonder if the calories from the wine are offset by the calories burned from dancing?

To think, I almost didn't go because I woke up with such a terrible cold on Saturday morning. I thought I might regret it - since I had been looking forward to it for so long - so I did go and I'm glad. D had to drag me home because I didn't want to leave. I guess I needed the fun/stress relief.

He won the "best back" award for the 3rd time. (In rugby there are back players and pack players.) I think I'd feel less guilty about (sometimes) wanting him to quit if he sucked. ha

Plus, then there would be no more crazy Christmas parties, right? That would not be good.

---------------------------------
C woke up this morning with vomit on him. That was not cool, but he's had an awful cough so I thought maybe he gagged. Until he proceeded to throw up a few more times. *sigh* He hasn't moved off the couch since about 7AM. For a child we call "Taz" and "The Destroyer" that is not a good sign.

I was Clorox wiping and sanitizing everything and when I came back Miss L had C's cup. IN HER MOUTH. Agh!

We've all been sick, off and on, since oh, about... October. I guess that's probably not going to end for a couple more months.
---------------------------------

My mom's group also had their holiday party this week and it was a lot of fun! Two holiday parties in one week! Want to see what I wore?

Mom's holiday party dress with shawl and new heels.

Rugby party - established players wore tacky sweaters - and I wore my shawl over the dress again. It was cold and rainy that night!

Flats this time, since D & I are the same height. ;) (and I like buying new shoes.)

Miss L's new room

Since Alice asked, here it is. It doesn't take much prompting! haha!

This is the Love & Nature wall decor from Target. (I can't seem to find a picture of it right now.)
We also have the bedding, but it's in twin size and Miss L is obviously still in a crib so that will come later.

Both sets of curtains also from Target

Do you think she has enough bows?

The closet. Oh, and more bows. haha

What to write when you don't know what to write?

I have so many thoughts jumbling around in my head, but I can't seem to piece together a blog post.
I know how everyone just LOVES lists, right? RIGHT? Too bad.

* Miss L's birthday was owl themed. OMGSOCUTE. I re-did her room with super cutie owl decor too. (I could seriously do a whole picture post on her room. Swoon! It's the only girly room in the house, but is VERY girly! Oh, and she got an owl outfit as a gift from my friend Tracy! I even made owl cake balls.

*Christmas shopping is done. I finished the teacher gifts today and finished addressing my cards. Done and done. Bring it on Christmas!

* The travel sh*t is going to make me certifiably insane. That is all.

* I have not one but TWO Christmas/Holiday parties this week! I have TWO, yes two, super cute dresses and pairs of shoes! (One is girls only, one is couples.) The shoes are new, and so is one of the dresses, but it was a steal at only $25! (Bonus to pregnancy - feet that never recover and are now a 10 instead of a 9. New shoes, anyone?)

* After seeing a video of myself from Miss L's birthday, I was like, "... !!!" and now I'm on Weight Watchers again. It works for me when I stick with it and I might as well get a jump start on the new year. I'll also be joining the new YMCA but probably not until January since we'll probably be traveling all of the end of December and right now almost every night has something penciled in. I know, I know, make time for exercise and all that...
It's just not going to happen on that level right now. I do work out at home though. We have Wii Fit and I have exercise DVD's and I always have about 25-35 lbs on my back anytime I get on the floor so that's a bonus. Or not.

* I also never seem to have time to eat. -- i need juice. doorbell. phone. food's cold. baby needs cleaned up... etc. --  How is it that I'm not skinny already? (Probably the wine.)

*The End

I can't resist posting just one teeny part of Miss L's room. Why are owls so cuuuuuute?

Silent Sunday: My Blessings in Pictures

Our last first

Dear Miss L,

It's your birthday! Where to begin? You have given me something that I didn't know I was missing. I can't even begin to imagine my life without you in it.

Your daddy persuaded me to have a fourth -a final- baby. I was so happy with our family of 3 little boys and although I desperately wanted a daughter, I was happy to leave things as they were. Once I was pregnant, I was in love with the idea of another baby and it wasn't until we confirmed you were a girl that I realized how much I'd been holding my breath.

A daughter. We could scarcely believe it!

I've known from the start that you would be my last baby and I have tried very hard to cherish every moment. I tried not to wish away the minutes. Oh, but they flew anyway. Just one year ago, I was hugely pregnant and wishing for your arrival. You were born on a Wednesday, at 10:51AM. I remember your birth quite vividly, and it may sound odd, but I cherish those memories. Someday you will understand...

Seeing those pictures of you, so new, takes my breath away. You captured our hearts right away.

Our new family was finally complete and your brothers were all thrilled, even if the pictures don't always show it. Haha!

You are such a sweet, happy, loving girl. You give hugs and kisses freely, to me, to Daddy, and to your brothers, and even your toys. The dog and cats are also the (often unwilling) recipients of your enthusiastic love.

We've been through a lot this last year. You've been on more medication in one year than your brothers have probably been on in their whole lives. We have struggled with side effects from steroids, and with colic, blessedly minor medical "issues," eye patches, and transitions.

Those moments have faded in comparison to the light you bring into our life.

You've learned to do so much in a short year... sit, crawl, walk, and now - run. You say mama and dada and you try to say your brother's names, but they are mostly just gibberish. You can meow and quack and pant like a dog. It's really quite comical. You finally learned to clap and you LOVE to "give 5" and just this evening you copied our hand folding at dinner time when we said, "Amen." You haven't nursed in 4 days, so I suppose that your absolutely stubborn refusal is the final word in that chapter of the book. I'm going to say we made it to a year anyway; we got close enough.
You pout. You're good at it. You have Daddy wrapped around your little finger and I don't say a word because it melts my heart so much.
You have 7 teeth, with an 8th on the way.
You think brushing your teeth is the best.thing.ever. next to reading books.
You steal bites from your brothers when they aren't looking and you flop down on them when they're on the floor. 
When you lay your head on my shoulder, I still snuggle in for the few seconds that it lasts. I will miss that when it's over, which I hope is a long time from now.

The first year is over, but I am looking forward to so many more to come.
I love you Lulu. Happy 1st birthday, sweet girl. 

How did it get so late so soon?

Spring cleaning and other stuff

I know it's not actually spring, but I'm in a spring cleaning mood. I think I missed it (spring cleaning) in the actual spring because I had a new baby and 3 little boys with spring fever.

I cleaned out all our closets yesterday and do you know what the result was? Two BIG garbage bags and three BIG boxes full of baby girl clothes (I kept special outfits...), 18-24mo boy clothes, extra baby blankets with no special meaning, and random odds and ends. Plus, another box full of cloth diapers!

I also cleaned out half our cabinets and pantry, and that resulted in a couple of bags of garbage. I feel a lot better, but there is always more to do! Plus, the house is a disaster because I spent all day getting rid of stuff and organizing which means I didn't sweep or do dishes, or pick up toys or... oh well.

-----

Guess who has a birthday this week? Miss L will officially turn one on Thursday. I have been thinking about her birthday post for months and now here it is. I can't really believe it. I have no urge to have more children, but I sure do wish my last baby would stay small a wee bit longer. This is such a fun age.
I'm spending a lot of time this week working on birthday stuff. I'm going to try to make these owl cake balls , but in chocolate. So far, I've gotten the actual cake balls rolled and frozen. This is a project that has to be done without the children's "help" so it's being done in stages.

Stay tuned for Miss L's birthday post.

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I feel like we may be the ONLY people who don't have our Christmas tree up yet! We wanted to wait until after Miss L's birthday, so as not to get the two too mixed up together. (We do have our outside lights and decorations up though, so that gives me something Christmas-y to look at when I need a fix.) We will probably decorate Sunday and I am VERY much looking forward to it.

On that note, I guess I need to start addressing Christmas cards?
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I am re-starting Weight Watchers. I know it's a stupid time to try to lose weight, but it always works for me when I do it and I've gained a few pounds over the last month - and it's not like I was at my goal weight to begin with. (Thanks Stress, Halloween & Thanksgiving, and low will power...)
Who needs to wait till the New Year anyway?

Silent Sunday: The 5

The five greatest blessings in my life:

12 seconds of pure cuteness

Just tell me this isn't THE cutest 12 seconds you've ever seen...

So much...

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "Thank you." that would suffice.  
 ~Meister Eckhart


Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Flat v Boot

Alright, I have tried and TRIED to get a decent picture of these boots/flats/leggings but for some reason the darker colors just will NOT cooperate. I'm pretty much over it.

Here's the best I've got:

Black boots and leggings from Target.

For comparison, one flat and one brown boot. I honestly like both on, sorry the picture is so dark. The boots are a bit warms right now, considering it was like... 76 here yesterday.  These boots are from Old Navy in brown with brown tights. (PS - half off right now!)

So flats vs boots, there is no clear winner in my mind. I guess I'll have to wear both.

I swear this is the last post of my shoes. Scintillating reading, huh?

Dear ...

Dear Me,
For the love of Pete; stop volunteering for stuff. Despite your willingness, you cannot actually put more hours into the day.

Love,
Me

Dear Shoppers,
I definitely did not expect to see so many of you out on a Monday at 10AM. I will try very hard NOT to see you again until, say... January?
 Sincerely,
Hates Crowds

Dear Husband,
It's not that I don't want to travel, but I am sincerely worried about a number of things - the baby's health for one - and on top of that? I'm just not sure I have it in me to take on one more thing this year. I'm exhausted just thinking about it! However, I don't think that this is a disagreement I will win.
Love,
Resigned

Dear Father Time,
I'm not really loving how fast you have made the last year fly. Don't you know this is my last baby?
Slow it down, would you?
From,
Time Flies

Dear UPS & FedEx peeps,
I'm done with my Christmas shopping so we're going to be seeing a lot more of each other for the next couple weeks.
From,
Just leave it on the porch

Dear Car Line Parents,
This line would be a lot shorter if those of you without a bunch of other kids in the car would park in the lot and walk up. I get it, when it's raining or cold or whatever, that makes sense. But, this line is so stinkin' long, and just think how much faster it would be for all of us if those of you alone in your cars could just walk up and get them. Maybe I'm missing an angle here; enlighten me.
Sincerely,
Tired of Wasting Time

Dear Baby Girl,
Good pout you've got going on there. I am not oblivious, but do at least know better than to give in most of the time. Daddy, on the other hand, is powerless against that little face. Very talented, my dear.
Love,
Mama

I wouldn't let her have my coffee cup. Tragedy!

uh...

* D has been working 50 hour work weeks since shortly after L was born. She will be 1 in two weeks. Now? They want him to work 60 HOUR WEEKS. I'm thinking I probably don't need to fully explain how I feel about that. They even said that they need to work over the holidays if they are in town. Seriously? Hire some more people BigCompany. Hmph.

* I feel like I am FORCING Miss L to nurse. I know you can't REALLY force a baby to nurse if they don't want to, but she will literally not nurse unless she is asleep. Yes, that's right, I go in her room at night, when she is asleep, and nurse her before I got to bed. This is now the only time she will nurse.
If I try (like I do every day) to nurse her while she's awake she will either:
1 - bite me
2 - hit me and push me away and make ugly faces
3 - try to get down
*sigh*
She has a weak immune sysytem, if you remember, and by continuing to nurse her I feel like she is at least getting SOME extra immune boosting "stuff." I don't know how long this will last; I feel like the end is here.

* Speaking of immune systems, my kids have not been well for weeks upon weeks. Colds, sinus infections, and now croup. Ugh. It's going to be a long winter.

* We are "fighting" over what to do for the holidays. With Miss L getting sick so often (and she needs steroids when she gets sick, so it's not like a minor thing) I don't feel that traveling is in her best interest. (not to mention - $, time, and general pain-in-the-ass-ness)
D agrees, but wants to do it anyway. *sigh*

* My to-do list is much larger than my motivation to actually do any of the things on it.

Fashion update

Alright, on my last post I got LOTS of great comments and suggestions. What I learned:
* Those are leggings, not tights. (told you I was no fashionista. hehe)
* Half of you liked the flats.
* The other half liked boots.
*This made me feel like buying boots, so I did.

They haven't come yet, but look what I'm wearing today:

 A brown dress that's always felt too short, and therefore has been hanging in the closet, black leggings and brown flats. I'm just hanging around the house today, picking d up from school, and meeting with an insurance agent so casual is what I was going for.

Does it work?

I'm no fashionista...

and I need help!

I bought a new dress at Old Navy. It came, and it's super cute and casual and a nice orangey/pink color (it looks pink in the pictures, but it's not so much...)
The problem is that it's a bit short for chasing around kids, and also: it's cold outside often now.
I have not worn tights since I was 10. I see other people wear them and I think they are CUTE. I don't think *I* am cute/hip enough to pull them off, and I also have NO IDEA what shoes to wear with them. I tried on boots at Target today and left with none. I think I look dumb in them, but maybe I haven't tried the right ones? I don't know...

Anyway, here are pictures. I need opinions! Be honest, I would rather someone tell me it looks dumb now than let me go out in public wearing it!
Tights: yes or no
Black or grey?
Shoes: flats? boots? HELP!

Dress with tights and flats. Should I have gone with grey tights or no tights or forget the whole thing?!

side view... The front of the dress is sort of gathered, so that's why it might look a little poofier there...

shoes. Yes or no?

If no on the shoes, suggestions are welcome!
I tried on these:

ankle boots

 and pretty much hated them all on me. Suggestions on boots?

Photos from Target.com!