9th

It all started September 20th, 1997. I had been 16 for about two weeks, and was finally officially allowed to go on dates that weren't chaperoned by my sister, or a large group, or whatever.
I'd had boyfriends, but nothing serious. My best friend at the time was dating a guy who had a friend, D, who kept talking about me. He wanted to ask me out, but he was so shy and thought I would say no. Truthfully, I hadn't really noticed much about him, besides the fact that he was an identical twin. We were in a very small high school, but he was two grades above me and in a different crowd. His younger brother was in my class though, and he was a nice guy, so when I heard that D wanted to ask me to go out on a date, I figured I'd give it a shot. I thought he was cute.

I remember a lot of the details of that first date, and it makes me giggle every time. We were both practically silent the whole time, and I could barely eat, and the movie we saw, The Game, was terrible. I remember all the horrible awkwardness, and how I barely watched the movie and instead wondered, for 2 hours, if he would hold my hand or not. (Not) I tried to call my parents, but they didn't answer, and I was late getting home. (I had a very early curfew, a by-product of parents who were terrified their daughters would follow in their teenage pregnancy footsteps.) I got grounded for two weeks. I think that may have been the first time I was EVER grounded. Rebellion was not my thing. (then or now)

In any case, I was happy as could be those two weeks. I saw him at school every day, and we seemed to have an instant bond. Our campus had an open lunch, and my parents didn't allow me to leave school for lunch but I went anyway, almost every day, with him and his brother. (OK, a LITTLE rebellion might have been my thing, but only the kind where I didn't get caught.)
We went on many more dates, and had a first kiss after a football game one Friday evening. I think we'd been dating about 6 months when we said, "I love you." Looking back, it seems we were too young and foolish, at only 16 and 17. So young.
We've been together ever since though; through the rest of high school, tough college transitions, and trying to find ways to grow up without growing apart. We got married on June 1st, 2002. I was only 20.

We moved across country, away from everyone we'd ever known. We lived on a Kindergarten teacher's salary while D got his Masters degree. We lived in a junky little apartment, and we were happy. D finished his degree and by then the baby bug had bitten me. HARD. We got pregnant, and we moved again, and started over again. We just had each other to rely on, and there was still a lot of growing up to do. We have a lovely little family now, and I'm grateful each day that we went out on that date almost fourteen years ago.

I'm not sure how I got so lucky to be married to a guy that's as great as he is. I've just got good taste, I guess. Happy 9th Babe! I can't wait to see what the future holds, as long as I'm with you! 

Pepper

We took a little trip to animal services yesterday and came home with a new family member:

There were lots of kittens there, and it's fun to play with them all and see who doesn't run and hide when Miss L screeches. I wanted a girl, but of all the kittens there was only one girl, and D was opposed to a long haired cat this time. (It was so cute though, all black with fuzzy hair and big blue eyes)
This little guy picked us; he was quite persistent. We've never had an all white cat before, so that's nice too.
He is SO TINY, even by kitten standards. They normally don't let you take them home before they are spayed or neutered, but this guy is so little that they would have had to hold on to him for several weeks, so they let us take him home as long as we paid for and scheduled his surgery first.

Just for comparison, Peso overflows the bigger bed next to Pepper's bed. He's so little, I'd be surprised if he's even 2 pounds.

We talked about names, and there were some interesting ones thrown out (Pan, Parka, Him) but I was pulling for Charlie. When D came out with the paperwork (I waited in the car with the kids because it's much more efficient that way.) it said that his shelter-given name was CHARLIE! It seemed like fate, except when we took a vote between our 2 finalists - Pepper and Charlie - I got outvoted 3 to 2. So... Pepper it is.
The name is still pleasing to me, because it starts with a "P" just like Penny and Peso, and also it's ironic in a totally not clever way, since he's completely white.

Penny and Peso both took his entrance in stride, there were no fuzzy tails or hissing. Peso *may* be a slight bit too enthusiastic.

I'm going to hug you and squeeze you...

So far Pepper is very sweet and the hardest part of the transition is keeping Miss L from picking him up. Peso is 15 pounds so there's no way she can pick him up, so a kitty that is small enough for her is thrilling. She LOVES animals but, as with most almost 18 month olds, she's not all that gentle. He doesn't seem to mind.

Confessions

* I don't sort laundry. At all. All clothes are lumped together and washed in cold. If there is something delicate (I make a point NOT to buy those types of things) I try to remember to wash it separately, but that often doesn't happen either.

* Children getting up when they are supposed to be sleeping may be the easiest way to make me see red. I cannot WAIT until they WANT to sleep and I get to wake their butts up. Payback is coming, kids.

* Thunder, lightening, wind or even an ominous cloud makes me nervous. There was a brief tornado warning yesterday while we were on our way home from a birthday party, and I thought I was going to throw up. Between the horrific weather this year, and my terrible allergies, I'm just about over spring. That's right Spring, MOVE ALONG.

* The kids are persistently asking me about getting a new cat and I have been saying, "We'll see." Finally, I told them to ask Daddy, who has expressed no interest in getting a new kitty. Guess what? Apparently, small faces and hopeful eyes make Daddy say yes quite easily. (I'm going to remember that next time I want something. haha) So... we'll probably have a new kitty soon.

* I have no real interest in going back to work. Ever.

What a day!

Yesterday was a frustrating day. We dropped d off at school as early as we're allowed (7:30) because we had to be across town by 8. The traffic was at a standstill in several places so it took us longer than expected but we were only about 10 minutes late.
The nurse had said to expect to be taken back around 9 and we had the three youngest kids with us because we didn't have anywhere else to take them or anyone to watch them so early.
An hour wait with them was bad enough to think about, but I brought snacks (not for C since he couldn't eat/drink) and a few quiet toys. Unfortunately, they didn't call us back until 10 (and we didn't have the right paperwork) and then it was another 30 minutes of pre-op stuff before they finally took C for his surgery. A 2.5 hour wait with an 18 mo old, a 4 year old and a hungry, thirsty, crabby 3 year old was SO MUCH FUN. The other people in the waiting room agree, I assure you.

However, the surgery took less than 10 minutes and we were out the door and on our way home by 11AM. We had promised C McDonald's, which he didn't touch, and their coffee machine was broken. I mean, what the hell? I really needed the coffee.

We had to fill a prescription so we stopped at the pharmacy, and they were out of the medicine. (Seriously.) We went to another pharmacy and it would be 30+ minutes so I decided to come back later.
We finally got home, and everyone finished lunch and D went back to work and I got all the kids down for a nap and the I was about to take my first sip of coffee... and the phone rang. While on the phone (with MIL) my coffee slowly leaked all over the table. My favorite mug had a crack down the side and had to be thrown out.

I did finally get to drink my coffee.

I woke up 2 of the 3 littles to go get d from school and we headed to Wal*Mart to pick up the prescription and a teacher gift. If, before I had kids, someone had made me take 4 small children to Wal*Mart for any length of time, I would have seriously considered staying a DINK couple. 
(and WHY are the lines so $#@^&* long there?)
We finally got home, after much threatening about taking away birthday cake, and the evening looked up from there. D got home early, C requested hot dogs and Pirate's Booty for his birthday dinner so that was blissfully easy. Then we had cake, opened presents, and put the kids to bed, and then collapsed into exhausted heaps on the couch.

Singing Happy Birthday to C:

Happy 3rd!

Dear C,
You are 3 today! My dear third born son, you hold a special place in my heart. You have spent your entire existence on this planet surprising us.

There are so many things we love about you. You were the happiest baby we'd ever seen, and you are still a very happy child. You know what you want, and you go for it. You are all boy, and love to play football and tackle and wrestle. You make the funniest faces, and have a fantastic belly laugh. Your mischievous blue eyes make people smile, and can charm anyone.

Such a laid back baby!

You love Mickey Mouse, and being outside, and trucks, and your big brothers. You keep up with them at every turn. You are loud, and funny, and all of your l's sound like w's, which is stinkin' adorable when you sing songs like, "10 widdle ducks, wobbwing in a wow!" or yell at your baby sister, "NO WIWA!"

one

You often steal a hug when I least expect it, and you love it when I lay in bed with you and read. Your nighttime prayers are adorable, and you've also found they're a good way to stall bedtime a bit.
You are a mischevious little fellow, and we've had to add a refrigerator lock and more door covers; you keep us on our toes!

two

You love to help Daddy build or fix things, and you sleep with a toy hammer. Your lovey is the only soft thing you like in your bed. All other stuffed animals seem to find their way out into the hallway or in the baby's room. A hammer makes a much nicer sleeping buddy, obviously.

three

On your birthday this year, you are going in for ear tubes. You melted my heart when, after I explained what would happen, you seemed to understand and you said, "My ears will be much better." I'm so glad you can take it all in stride.
You are my little blonde whirlwind. A special little boy who never ceases to amaze me. We love you dearly, sweet Cade.
Happy birthday big boy!

To all the women in my life

Hey you! Yeah, YOU.

I'm sure you don't hear it enough so I'm here to tell you are amazing.

You struggle with balance, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy. I'm here to tell you that you are good enough. The people in your life love you. Your friends think you are great and your family wouldn't know what to do without you.

You deserve to be happy. What are you waiting for?

You may not feel beautiful, but I'm here to tell you that you are. Whatever physical imperfections you may have are completely outshined by your lovely spirit and good heart. 

You struggle with your demons, whatever they may be. Don't we all? We don't have to do it alone.

I have so many amazing women in my life. I see traits in each and every one of you that I hope my own daughter will have.
A gentle spirit, thoughtfulness, a spirit of adventure, a giving heart, a loving nature and confidence, just to name a few.
I don't want her to grow up and hate how she looks, be afraid to stand up for herself or be stuck in an unhappy situation because she doesn't know how to make a good decision for herself. I want her to know she is amazing too.

Amazing, like you.

Stuff

Rocket (the fluffy one) is still missing, and with each night that passes my hopes of him coming back diminish even more. It's already been over a week.
I've checked the local shelters, filed reports, placed ads, put up fliers and used facebook groups to look for him. D says he would bet he's not going to be found. Have I mentioned we hear coyotes daily, and see them at least once a week? Yeah. *sigh*
Honestly, I'm most sad for the other cat, because they adored each other. They slept together and played together and now Peso seems depressed. I even found him sleeping next to O's Furreal Kitty a few days ago.
On another note, it's very hard to keep checking shelters and not come home with more animals. The chorus of children asking about new kitties is getting louder too. We'll see.

---
I've been considering why I worry so much and trying to stop. I don't know WHY I do, and I also find it hard to stop. I worry about things I have absolutely no control over, like the weather. I don't know why I do this to myself, when I don't want to.

---
I need a hair cut. I haven't had my hair cut, not even so much as a trim, since June. That's almost a year and it shows! Also, it's hot.

---
How many loads of laundry do you do a week? We have about 12-14 and I prefer to do 5-6 loads a couple days a week. D prefers to do a load or two every single day. Personally, I just don't like to do laundry every day but it bugs him to have it sitting there, unwashed.
The problem is that he often starts it (not that I'm complaining) and then goes to work, and I have to finish it. I guess I don't have to, but it bugs ME to have it sitting around in my living room, clean. I much prefer dirty clothes hiding in hampers, in closets, and not staring me in the face asking why I'm not folding it.

---
If we don't have to make up the days lost after the tornadoes, school gets out on May 25th and we start back on August 8th. Eight weeks of summer! (I swear it was longer when I was a kid.)
Already, we're going to be out of town for bit over a week, swimming lessons is 2 weeks and VBS is one week, provided I can find one that doesn't interfere with the other plans. That means half of the summer is planned away! It makes me want to not plan anything else, simply because we are all looking forward to relaxing a bit this summer.

I'm really looking forward to d being out for the summer, I miss my big kid!

O & C's last week of school is this week, and I'm a little sad about that. Perhaps it's because they only go 3-6 hours a week, but I never want their school to end! Their school is fantastic too, I couldn't ask for a more loving environment. (I also really enjoy the 3-6 hour break where I only have Miss L to haul around.)

---

/stuff

Down the road and back again

What a week it's been! If you've watched ANY news, or CNN or The Weather Channel, then you have probably heard all about the storms in the south last week.

This time last week, we were cowering from tornadoes every other hour or so. I kept d & O home from school. (d's school started at 10 and let out at 12:45 due to bad weather, so no big loss there...)
The first tornado siren woke us up right before 6AM, I believe. We turned on the weather and sure enough it was our area so we were all hiding in the bathroom in our pajamas. We lost a small tree during that round, and I should have known then, that it was going to be a rough day.
There were so many tornado sirens and so much hiding in the bathroom that day that I honestly can't remember how many there were. We prayed, we sang silly songs and I tried, probably unsuccessfully, to hide the sheer terror I was feeling from the kids. I have horrible anxiety about tornadoes and severe thunderstorms, and being responsible for 4 little people during one just adds to my anxiety.
I called D over and over at work. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't function. I didn't eat all day. I was a disaster, and he finally came home around 3. We lost power for good about an hour later, and spent the rest of the evening in the dark, carrying around the weather radio and flashlights. We had to hide another time or two, and when we thought the last storm had passed we put the kids to bed. (8ish?)
Sure enough, one more severe thunderstorm came through, and Mother Nature threw down some strong lightening and hail as one last, "Screw you!"
After that, the radio said it was over for good and we collapsed in bed, completely exhausted.

As scared as I was during the worst parts of the storm, I can only imagine how horrifying it was for the people who took direct hits and lost everything. Houses and possessions are one thing, but last I heard the death toll was well over 300 people.  My heart goes out to their families.
We are extremely lucky that we are fine. I've never felt more grateful in my life.

The next morning we listened to the radio and heard that power would be out for 3-5 days, or even longer. School was out until at least Tuesday (turned out to be Thursday) and D's work was also closed. We decided to take a trip up to my parents' house in Missouri. We drove through tornado damaged areas, some with just downed trees and some with total destruction. d's notebook is full of pictures of tornadoes and he is petrified every time the wind blows. (I guess he gets the anxiety from me. *sigh*)
We also drove through flooding, pretty much the whole drive, so it was an interesting drive - to say the least.

The visit was good. My parents were really busy with work, and since it was last minute we only got to see a few people. All in all though, it was a nice impromptu vacation.
Monday morning we learned that we had power again, so we planned to drive home the next day. The drive home was long and LOUD; we were so ready for it to be over. We came home to a missing cat - who will hopefully find his way home - and a disgusting fridge and chest freezer to clean out. That was gross, and will be expensive to restock, but still small potatoes next to the tragedy that a lot of people are experiencing.

The devastation in some areas is mind numbing. I've had to stop watching the coverage because it just makes me cry.

For us, life is returning to normal. D went to work today for the first time since last Thursday, and O is at preschool today. d's school reopens tomorrow.
Once again, I'm counting my blessings.