Tomorrow marks 11 years since D & I got married. We are celebrating today and I'm making this fancy dish that I'd never even heard of earlier this week. It's called timpano and when I saw it, I knew it was something D would love.

The start of my timpano. I hope it turns out!

After the kids are in bed, we're going to use the fondue cups that are part of D's present and watch a movie and relax with some of our favorite sangria. 

Yummy chocolate for fondue!

I'm also surprising him with a snack mix we had on a date night a couple months ago that he LOVED. It was rather hard to figure out what it was (there are a LOT of trail mixes out there...) and to track down. It was on back order but it's supposed to arrive TODAY from Amazon. What luck! 

 Last year he gave me a potted, mini, pink, calla lily. It was beautiful, but I always, always, always kill potted plants and this one was no execption. It's a bulb though, so after it died we stuck it and the pot out in the garage and forgot about it. I planted it this spring even though I was fairly certain it would not grow. Surprisingly, it grew quite well and I noticed it finally bloomed, just in time for our anniversary again! 

So much has changed in these 11 years. I couldn't have imagined how our future life would be on the day we said our vows all those years ago.

Dear,

Dear Grandparents,
Try to remember to make the lives of your kids and their spouses easier, on occasion, if you can. No, you don't owe it to them but try to remember the times YOU were drowning and there was someone to give you a breath. They will love you even more for it.
Love,
Parents Everywhere



Dear Brain,
Stop saying all those mean things about me.
Signed,
Don't Want to Hear It

Dear Society,
I'm so, so sick of the constant focus on how people - but especially women - look. I don't want to hear about beauty treatments, plastic surgery, fashion, weight loss, etc on the NEWS. I want to hear the news. I'm sick to death of hearing about new diets to get "bikini ready" and actresses who are back in their pre-pregnancy clothes 2 weeks postpartum. I'm fed up with reading articles about actresses who swear they indulge one day a week and then list what they "indulge" in that day, which is less than my 3 year old could eat at breakfast. I don't want to hear ONE! MORE! weight loss tip. Not one! I'm sick of "fat" being the absolute worst thing you can be.
 It breaks my heart that my daughter will grow up in this world that is so hyper focused on the superficial qualities of beauty that she will be bombarded with a myriad of skimpy clothes to attract boys, and beauty treatments to fix everything that society thinks isn't perfect. It kills me that she will likely have negative self-thoughts based on magazine models, TV actresses, billboards, movies, and her friends, who are exposed to the same thing.
I want her to be able to value her body for it's strength, and health, and beauty, even if it could never appear on a magazine cover. I want her to love her brain, her personality, her sense of humor and the things she is good at. I want her to accept her faults, and those of others, with love and compassion. I want her to know she is far more than just the way she looks.
I want my boys to look at a woman and not compare her to an air-brushed model to judge her worth. I want them to value brains, strength, character, courage and kindness. I want them to understand how much pressure a woman is under to be everything a man is PLUS look good doing it. I want my kids to see past all the bullshit I often get trapped under.
Signed,
Tired Of It

Dear Funk,
GO THE FUNK AWAY.
Signed,
Snap Out Of It

spaces

I find it fun to share the spaces I enjoy in my house with you all. Of course, I'm not going to share the kids' bathroom or my bathroom cabinet because they don't look nice. OH, and I don't dust so don't be surprised by the dust coating on my knick knacks.
 So, 2 more spaces, this time in my bedroom...

My dresser:
When I don't have clothes piled on it, I enjoy my dresser. The dress hanging on the far side is from when Miss L was itty bitty. It's the only baby thing I haven't been able to get rid of. I went searching for some pictures of her in it and found these. They made my uterus ache a bit. *sigh*

You can see the dress hanging on the far side...

One of the few wedding pictures left in our house. (the little boy in that picture is now in high school.)

The ones I love most... 

One of my favorite quotes! I got this for D, the workaholic.

The shelf:

The bottom shelf is my SAD light, a jump rope, yoga mat and some other stuff...

D's rugby awards

One of my favorite pictures.

Yes, it's a children's book, but it's mine anyway.

One last thing! This one's on my computer desk:

I also have that little tape measure on my desk because I inevitably need to measure something when I'm shopping online. It's very handy!

Gifts

June is a busy month in our house. June 1st is our anniversary (11 this year!), June 4th is D's birthday and then, of course, comes Father's Day. (June 16th)

I know I struggle with 3 gift giving holidays in a row to a man who can be difficult to buy for, so here are my ideas, just in case you're struggling too!

We went on a date where we shared fondue from one of these cool mugs, so when I found a pair on Amazon, I snatched them up!

 I also made him a collage of the kids, using several variations of the picture below:

For his birthday, he's going with a friend and one of his brothers to a Spurs game in Memphis. (I'm just happy he didn't want to take me!)

 Last but not least, I got him a wildlife camera. It can take pictures day and night, and is motion activated. Sound weird? It's something he's wanted a long time, and it will be neat to see what's roaming around out there at night.

My dad is getting a gift card for Father's Day, because he wants some tool and I'm not qualified to figure out which one. :) My FIL's gift is still undecided.  Share your recent gift giving finds in the comments!


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My heart is broken for all the people in Oklahoma. I can hardly think or talk about it without tearing up. The scenes are all too familiar and my heart and prayers go out to them. Please consider donating to the Red Cross, or check and see if your employer has a matching funds option. (D's company does.)

Coping

Today is one of those days that I just don't feel I can cope. I didn't get enough sleep last night, the day started out with a long ass tantrum by someone who shall remain nameless, and there's another tantrum RIGHT NOW by the same unnamed little monster angel who doesn't want to take a MUCH NEEDED nap.

Also, as I'm writing this, it's someone's birthday, so there has been cheerful cake making and meals by request and present wrapping and yet, an undercurrent of just wanting someone to come clean my house and babysit my kids for a few days.

There was a stupid fight last night between D & I, and one the night before that, which is unusual for us.
My house is a mess because we went on vacation last week (I know, poor me) and the unpacking and extra laundry seems to have made me lose my daily pick-up gene this week. I hate the mess, but I don't want to clean it.

I'm losing my temper and patience at every turn and going to bed every night feeling like I'm doing a pretty crappy job. Hormones are not on my side at this time either. Anxiety is hounding me, on and off, and I'm weary of the thought of it never, ever going away - for the rest of my life.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the thought of putting all 3 boys in public school next year has crossed my mind, however briefly. I'm not going to.

I'm reading a book that's making me grumpy and thinking I should go back to fairy tale ending stories.I've been eating too much junk food today, after doing so well this week. My brain is revolting against the combination of too little sleep, too much caffeine and sugar, and a hormone cocktail. I can't focus. It's taking me forever to write this.

I have no doubt that this funk will pass, as funks do, eventually. I probably won't finish that book, and I'll try to go to bed early tonight and either ignore the mess or bribe the children into helping me clean it.
I'm going out to mow the lawn before it really starts to rain, and D is coming home early. I'm hoping the combo (no children can talk to me while I mow) of the two will turn this day around.

5!

This guy:

turned into this guy, before our very eyes. 

I know these letters don't matter to anyone else, but I'd like to remember that at this age we couldn't get you to eat hardly anything for breakfast except for scrambled eggs, and you love to wear the color green. You like your green bat, and even sleep with it still, but also your "baby Batman." You adore Daddy, and fight like crazy with your little sister. You love to play wii and play outside, and ride your bike. You are gruff and rough and tumble, but so sensitive if someone hurts your feelings or you get in trouble, even when it's deserved.
You have surpassed your big brother in height and weight this year, but the twin questions are still common.
You have Daddy's olive skin and the only blonde hair in our little family. We think you get that from my side as there are a few blondies scattered about. I'd have to say you have my cheeks. :)
For your birthday dinner this year you've asked for breakfast (scrambled eggs & biscuits) and chocolate cake with white frosting.
You gradually turned from a wild, destructive, and crazy toddler we nicknamed "Taz," into a thoughtful, sweet, sensitive and funny little boy.  Happy 5th big guy! We love you!

Novels & other stuff

I love to read, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy a romance novel now and again. I recently read the first in a historical romance series by Eloisa James, (The Essex Sisters) and then promptly gobbled up the subsequent three. If you look down on me for reading romance novels I'm OK with that. I need a feel-good, easy read every now and then and her heroines are much less insipid than most. It's not for the racier parts either, as I often skim those, but the love and romance and happy endings... *sigh* I'm a sucker for such things!
Now, I'm a practical person by all accounts, but reading these stories made me have odd mental conversations and irritation with my husband and myself.
Why isn't our love like that? (Was it ever? This is called a fantasy for a reason.)
Why doesn't he look at me with stars in his eyes? (WTH does that even mean?)
 Do his eyes darken with lust at the mere thought of me? (No)
I think I'd like to dress like these women. Those giant dresses could hide so much... (But, think how hot you'd be. Also, being a woman kind of sucked back then.)
Would he rescue me? (?!)
Why doesn't his thumb caress my cheek in a way that makes my stomach roll with butterflies? (Because this is real life you idiot. The only thing rolling around here is our eyes.)

So, um, Ms. James is a very convincing writer apparently and I'm sure I'll be reading more of her books in the future but perhaps I should read something first with a crappy husband so that I'll feel better.

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For Mother's Day the kids (D) got me a cute little sign for the kitchen, but my favorite thing was the keychain thing he got me. It's a large ring with 4 little kid figures on it, and has two clips on it. I can clip one side on my purse ring or zipper and attach my keys to the other side. I am FOREVER losing my keys in my big ass purses so this was genius. He thought it up all by himself too, so while he may not be a hero in a historical romance novel, I think he's right up there.

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The puppy? She's growing! She's more than doubled her weight since we've had her and her coat is no longer the soft fluff that it once was. She's still soft but her hair is much curlier and thicker now. She's too smart for her own good and causes mischief left and right. She and Miss L are the first suspects for most things that happen around here...

Penny's 9th birthday is coming up! Piper is 19 weeks.

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We spent some wonderful time at the beach despite jelly fish and ridiculous-for-May-in-Florida weather and ICE COLD ocean water. As with every ocean trip, I spend the next week wishing for the funds for my own personal beach house. (ha!)

We went with another family, but I don't want to post pictures of her family here without her permission.

One of the best parts of going with another couple was that we swapped date nights/babysitting! SWEET!

This pose has become sort of a "thing" for us. We have 2 canvas prints from previous years hanging in our dining room. This one will join them.

Show Me

A view into 3 little spaces in my house...

1 - My kitchen sink and window.
I spend a lot of time here. I could have cleaned it up some first, but hey, this is what it looks like a lot so I just left it. My mind tends to wander while I'm washing dishes or loading the dishwasher and my natural tendency is to obsess and fret. The window sill is full of things that make me smile and also a little reminder for me.

2 - The refrigerator. Weird spot to highlight... but it's like a year-round Christmas tree! I put special magnets from trips we take, and pictures of many of my favorite people there.

Can't forget my Swistle magnets!

3 - The screened in porch. A comfy seat, a nice view; what more could you ask for?
Want to share some of your spaces with me? Link in the comments if you do!

Fashion

I notice that every year, I get hooked on a certain look(s) or color(s). I don't know if it's my own changing tastes or if I'm being influenced by ads and displays in stores, magazines, and on TV. I'm not sure if what I'm currently into is "in" or not, because I don't particularly keep up with fashion. Do you notice yourself going through phases like this?
Last year I was really into turquoise & teal colors along with gray. The year before it was purple. ALL the purple!
This spring I'm into picking up new pieces in navy blue, especially paired with green. I'm also into stripes and big chunky jewelry in orange and red and blues.

My favorite from Target: 

It's very simple, but really cute with some red or orange jewelry and cute shoes.

Like these:

I've also tried on about 15 pairs of shorts and returned 14 pairs. Shorts shopping sucks. Any shorts that fit my hips, are too big on the waist. Or they are too long (I don't need to cover my knees, thanks) or they are waaaay to short (I DO need to cover my butt, thanks). It's so frustrating! I finally found a pair of navy ones I like and plan to try to fix the gap in the waist with a tutorial I found on Pinterest. (we'll see)

Other things I'm loving this year:
stripes
Although I don't understand the horizontal stripes on everything. If vertical stripes are slimming, why am I so drawn to all these horizontal stripes?!

big jewelry:

and this one:


maxi dresses:

What are you wearing this year?