Sleep is an ongoing battle over here. D & I want it and the kids don't.
d is almost 2.5 years old, and just this month started sleeping through the night. Until now he was up several times a night. His sleeping issues were a NIGHTMARE! I am not exaggerating, but I'm too tired to bother writing down the horrible nights we've had for well over 2 years.
Well, suffice it to say that we're thrilled that d is finally sleeping through (and I'm praying like crazy that mentioning this won't ruin it!).
O has decided to take over the nighttime torture. He is every bit as bad of a sleeper as d was. There is only one difference and that is that he'll fall asleep in his bed, by himself. d still won't do that. (Yes, we still lay down with our 2.5 year old to get him to sleep every night.)
Granted, with O, sometimes all I have to do is lay him down and turn on his music and noise machine, give him his lovey and paci and leave the room. That's all it takes and he falls asleep.
However, some days it's a lot harder. I just spent an hour and a half fighting with him. Up and down out of the crib. Him screaming, me patting his back, nursing, crying and leaving. Coming back and trying again after a small breather so that my head won't explode. FINALLY he's asleep.
Why do kids fight sleep? Is it just my kids? Even when they can barely keep their eyes open, they don't want to sleep.
I had no idea that sleep issues would plague me when I signed up for this parenting thing. I knew that babies don't sleep through the night right away, but 2.5 YEARS?! Come on now!
I just hope and pray that O does better. So far, though, it's not looking promising.
12 comments:
I've often wondered why the phrase "sleep like a baby" is supposed to mean slept very soundly because from what I know that is most certainly not the case.
But, just think, you've never heard of a kid going to college who has to have his mom lay down with him so he can go to sleep, right? So it will end. One day.
I know this is really hard to do but I have 3 girls, ages 11, 5 & 3 and I've done it with them all with great success; just put them in their crib at bedtime! That's it! They'll cry for a bit and then fall asleep. Stuff cotton in your ears if you have to but leave them be. All 3 of my girls have slept through the night by 6 months (that was the very latest.) They need to learn to feel comfortable in their own space and settle themselves down, that way when they wake up in the middle of the night, they aren't looking to you to put them back to sleep, they know how to soothe themselves. I had a really hard time with it too, but it really works! And if you can't do it, they really will outgrow it as your finding out :)
Can't do the CIO thing. :)
Ugh , we had those issues with D and never could let him cry either. He nursed four times a night till he was over a year old, it was less about sleep deprivation at that point than sheer frustration. When he was O's age I'd put him down in his crib and he'd start screeching, he wanted me to hold him all the time. He'd sleep fine if I was holding him!
I don't know what finally worked, but while I sense you kinda distrust d's new sleeping thing I trust D to go to sleep and if he's up then there's usually a reason hehe.
Good luck.. it sucks but I'm too permanently dumbed down to have any real advice!
I agree with you - I'd have a hard time with CIO if my daughter was a bad sleeper. She is usually crying when we leave her in her bed for naps and bed, but typically, she is silent by the time we get down the stairs. I could never just let her go for an indefinite period of time.
As Shelly says, it will get better. It has to!
I hope it gets better for you. It's good if the baby sleeps through the night, but even better if the parent does.
Maybe O and Marin have been talking? Plotting? Because our nighttime parenting makes me want to weep most nights. Only I'm too tired to weep, so I just think about it instead.
I had one (out of four, not bad) who was a lousy keep-me-up-crazy-all-night sleeper. We finally went with Dr. Ferber's method. Yes, I know you can't do the CIO thing, but with Ferber, you go in every few minutes and pat them (so they know you're still there) and then leave again. It's an exhausting ordeal but it works like magic. Took one (grueling) night of being in and out of his room. AND it worked for naps too.
I have a theory about kids who are so little and don't want to sleep even though they are clearly exhausted. I think it is because they feel so rotten, being so tired and all, but simply don't know that going to sleep will fix it. They are just too little to make the rational leap. So, they are trying to find comfort elsewhere and are just so miserable they don't understand the whole "putting-them-down" thing. Maybe?
Probably having theories about why they do this isn't getting you much rest. And it is so hard when nursing at night too. I am still doing the nursing at night thing because my Ian won't nurse much during the day and I am afraid of losing my milk before we are ready to wean. But believe me, I am fantasizing about sleeping ALL NIGHT right along with you. Try not to worry too much. It really won't last forever. Promise.
Hey again...I'm the one who left the second comment (with 3 girls.) I didn't let them "cry it out" or whatever. I just let them fuss a little in their crib and like Donna had said, by the time I got downstairs or wherever, they had fallen asleep. I just didn't go in there every little noise they made and they fell back asleep by themselves. My friends just say I'm a lucky one though and have really good sleepers. Even now, my 3 & 5 year olds sleep in until 10:00 pretty much every morning.
I'm jealous of all you with good sleepers! When I said I don't do "CIO" I meant that I don't let them cry to sleep. 1 - because I tried it and he never went to sleep.
2 - because I don't want to.
3 - I do sometimes let one or the other cry if I NEED to breathe for a minute. I figure it's safer for them that way. heh.
Either way, thanks for the suggestions. It was more of a vent, and a WHY!?!! post. lol
Oh, and last night d got up twice - for the first time in awhile. Told you I shouldn't have talked about it.
hmph.
"Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Poorly organized but absolutely saved my life.
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